Attack....of the KILLER DECISIONS

"Well, no question, decisions have made things unstable."

-- President George W. Bush, in interview with 60 Minutes, 1/12/07, quoted here.

(nod to KL)

Hammer of Truth

Why, oh WHY does Hammer of Truth lie dormant?

Check this.....

The site has been down for....seems like YEARS. And it still gets so many hits.

This isn't perfectionism. It's insanity.

I am sad....

Obesity Reduction and Health Promotion Act

"The well-intentioned desire of Congress to help the poor apparently will
not be restrained by the rules and principles of the free market that
otherwise do restrain American businesses and workers. Apparently Congress
can change the rules that otherwise affect the affairs of mankind. And so,
Mr. Speaker, I have asked my staff to draft a measure I call the Obesity
Reduction and Health Promotion Act. Since Congress will apparently not be
restrained by the laws and principles that naturally exist, I propose that
the force of gravity--by the force of Congress--be reduced by 10%. Mr.
Speaker, that will result in an immediate weight loss for every American."

-- Rep. Bill Sali (R-ID), during debate on minimum wage legislation on the
floor of the House

(Nod to KL)

Phallus 101: The competition was stiff....

THE "DIRTY DOZEN" list of "America's Most Bizarre and Politically Correct College Courses" is out — and Los Angeles-area institutions of higher learning have walked away with one-fourth of the ranked honors (or dishonors). Occidental College, an 1,800-student liberal arts school in Eagle Rock, is the only college on the list to collect not one but two citations for excellence at offering trendy theories of gender, skin color and white-male oppression at the expense of actual academic content.

Such a disappointment. Duke only mentioned once. I had high hopes for the course in my own Department, "Politics and the Libido." But the judges were obviously paid off.

I have to admit that I have only limited sympathy for such lists. Some of the courses are actually quite interesting and useful, but have funny titles. Some of the rest...well, I do have limited sympathy for such lists.

But, the "Politics and the Libido" course I mention above....an excellent course. Well-taught, thoughtful, and interesting. Pretending sex does not matter in politics is just as bad as pretending that only sex matters.

Still, some of the courses on the list....unbelievable.

ATSRTWT

(Nod to EJ)

Great Mungers of the Past

Google has a new "patent search" engine.

And....it turns out that once again I am humbled by great Mungers of the past. This time, it is N. Q. Munger, of Casco, Michigan, making us all proud. He invented (along with one Pomeroy) a device that does double duty. It can be forced down the throat of a cow to clear a blockage that is choking the poor girl.

AND (this is the important part) it can be pushed up the anus of the cow to relieve her of that uncomfortable gaseous bloat that cattle get.

The description of the device, in more detail, I leave to your own reading. ATSRTWT, indeed.

Cuba Libre

Greg nails a diagnosis of the sickness that is the Cuba policy of the U.S.

My own experience, once, and then again.

I don't think this trait is adaptive....

Fainting goats....

One of the people on the video says the goats never make each other faint. I don't buy it. I would definitely hide behind a tree, smoking goat cigarettes and telling goat jokes, until an unsuspecting friend walked by. You could jump out and bleat loudly, and the friend would go belly up, legs in the air. I think I may try this over at the Duke faculty club this week; it could work. Though our faculty are not really goats, I suppose; more sheepish.

(thanks to Jeremy B., for the notice)

Price Controls More Generally

A reminder that my article on EconLib, about price-gouging, is now up. Lots of other interesting stuff on EconLib also, including (blush) an extremely fine podcast, for those of you who pod. (Not that there is anything WRONG with that...) (I just checked; Roberts/Munger podcast was not posted as if 9:30 EST. Should be up in the next couple of hours).

And a link to a nice piece at a fine blog. David Tufte is keeping it pretty darned real in southern Utah.

That Ol Debil Work

From Drudge:

DEM VOW ALREADY BROKEN: HOUSE SETS 4-DAY WORK WEEK
Sun Jan 07 2007 15:03:38 ET

Democrats ran to expand the work week in the House to 5 days.

But guess how long that lasted?

Not even one week!

"Culture Shock on Capitol Hill: House to Work 5 Days a Week" front-paged the WASHINGTON POST in December.

Majority leader Steny Hoyer said members of the House will be expected in the Capitol for votes each week by 6:30 p.m. Monday and will finish their business about 2 p.m. Friday.

Explained the POST: "Forget the minimum wage. Or outsourcing jobs overseas. The labor issue most on the minds of members of Congress yesterday was their own: They will have to work five days a week starting in January."

But on the morning after the night before, on the first full week of the new congress, Hoyer has pulled back from his vow!

A Hoyer press release obtained by the DRUDGE REPORT boldly declares: "Monday, January 8, 2007: The House is not in session."

Hill sources claim The House is taking Monday 'off' this week, because of the championship football game between Ohio State and the University of Florida.

And, of course, the following Monday is the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.

100 hours...starting...soon

I'd say this: The 5 day week was always unrealistic; can't be done, for members who are further away than about 2 hours travel time. Members have to spend time in the district, and have to be able to schedule a week day predictably. Monday makes good sense.

Now, Pelosi and co. knew this all along, and fibbed about it. But anyone who believed them was the one who was silly. And not for the last time. A lot of claims in December are going to be dead and buried by February. Just part of governing. Doesn't mean the Dems are liars. Pelosi will just say, "You know how I roll," and that will be that.

(Nod to Anonyman)

Girls Just Want to Have....

Pen pal S sends a video link.

Nicely done. And makes a reasonably serious point. When men say stupid things, most of us nod. When women say argumentative things, most of us get mad. Even other women, perhaps most of all. Like the speaker is breaking union work rules.

Growing Old

Signs I am, in fact, not as young as I once was:

1. I would prefer a belly laugh from a six-month-old girl I'm holding to a wink from a 25 year old woman three seats down at a bar. By a lot. Babies are my favorite toys.

2. A great bowl of soup is better than a good dessert.

3. Give me some nice poached fish rather than a steak, anytime.

4. I have a two drink limit. Not so I can drive, but so I don't fall asleep at the party.

I am not saying these preferences are a matter of prudence. Soup seriously tastes better to me than dessert. And who wants to have to take a nap at a party?

At one time, any one of these comparisons would have gone exactly the opposite way.

Um....Are they serious?

I can't tell if they are serious.

But I think so.

The Humpty-Dumpty Institute.

(Nod to Anonyman)

A Campaign FInance Reform Plan

From KL, who apparently has access to much better drugs than I do:

Problem:
(1) Electoral success depends on extensive fundraising.
(2) Many people want to influence policy.
(3) Some people have a lot more money than others.

Solution:
(1) Any entity may grant any benefit to any member of Congress.
(2) All benefits granted to, or time granted by, a member of Congress must
be matched by a grant (at some multiple of the original grant...1x, 2x,
etc.) to the FEC.
(3) FEC then randomly assigns each grant (perhaps sub-divided) to someone
who voted in the most recent federal election.
(4) Assignee may then exercise that grant by meeting with the member (in the
case of a time grant) or by conferring the benefit on any member of Congress
(in the case of a material grant), or Assignee may donate the grant to
another entity.

Example:
(1) Congressman Jefferson spends two hours at a nice restaurant, three hours
on a corporate jet, and receives $90,000 in cash from Mr. Moneybags.
(2) Mr. Moneybags must then deposit another $90,000 with the FEC plus the
cost of three hours on a corporate jet and two hours at a nice restaurant;
Congressman Jefferson must set aside five hours of his schedule.
(3) FEC grants nine voters the right to confer $10,000+ on any member of
Congress, and the FEC grants five voters the right to spend an hour each
with Congressman Jefferson; some of the grants are donated to the American
Enterprise Institute, the Cato Institute, the Center for American Progress,
Michael Moore, and Sean Hannity.

Living in Dutch, Part Twee: Less Gloomy, But NOT Ecstatic

On the other hand, there is also this, in part of a year end report on Dutch....well, culture. This from a country a little bigger than New Jersey.

2 January 2006
Dutch less gloomy, but not ecstatic about 2006

The New Year starts with pessimissm as four out of 10 Dutch people expect a deterioration of their financial situation, according to research bureau Trendbox. "But this is 15 percent less gloominess than the expectations regarding 2004 and 2005," Trendbox said. The bureau questioned 500 people in December about their expectations for the coming year.

9 January 2006
Mother arrested after bodies of four babies are found

A woman and her partner were arrested in December after DNA testing confirmed they were the parents of four dead babies. The body of a newborn baby was discovered in the home of the woman's mother in Haarlem on 21 December. It has now emerged that the bodies of three other "tiny" babies were found following searches in the garden of the suspects' home in Beverwijk, north-west of Amsterdam.

3 March 2006
Suitcase loss costs KLM EUR 200,000

Airline KLM is fined EUR 200,000 for losing a passenger's suitcase and damaging his credibility more than seven years ago. Dr José Tiongco was travelling with KLM as an envoy of the Philippine authorities in November 1998. He was scheduled to give a lecture at a conference held by the World Health Organisation in Kazakhstan. He flew from Amsterdam to Frankfurt with KLM but his suitcase did not follow him. This meant he had give his lecture in jeans, t-shirt and sneakers — something that damaged his credibility, the judge agrees.

23 March 2006
Dutch navy hit by more rape, drugs claims

The clamour for a wide-ranging investigation grows amid allegations at least two female sailors were raped on a frigate where drug use was rife. It also emerges that four sailors serving on the naval supply ship 'Amsterdam' were sent home by the commanding officer for organising an initiation ritual mimicking the photographs of naked Iraqi detainees being abused by US soldiers in Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. The incident took place last summer while the supply ship was operating in the Arabian Sea as part of Operation Enduring Freedom.

26 April 2006
Dutch report cites lack of entrepreneurship

The business climate in the Netherlands scores average to good when compared with the situation in the 19 other industrialised countries of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), a new report has found. But the report published by Statistics Netherlands (CBS) identifies a lack of entrepreneurship as a "sticking point" in the Netherlands. The Netherlands scores well in terms of secondary indicators such as the functioning of government and infrastructure. The country does less well when it comes to driving economic growth. The report cites a lack of innovation and entrepreneurship as the main restraints in this regard.

11 May 2006
Thousands 'unfairly' ticketed under ID law

Police have issued 80,000 fines since the start of 2005 to people for failing to carry proper ID. But an investigation published by newspaper 'De Volkskrant' indicates police often acted wrongly. The public prosecution office (OM) thinks police officers are often too quick to hand out a ticket to a person without ID, but whose identity is known. Often the cases relate to 'acquaintances' of the police, such as homeless people or beggars. Others involve people who later come to the police station with a valid ID. The ID law, which came into force in January 2005, states a fine is not necessary in such cases.

24 May 2006
Jail time cut in rape, animal porn case

An appeals court in Arnhem imposed sentences of seven years on the two main defendants in the Kraggenburger rape and animal porn case. Belgian P.M. and E van C., a resident of the Dutch town of Almere, were jailed for 14 and 10 years by the trial court in Lelystad for kidnapping three African refugees in Brussels. The women were subjected to rape and sexual assault in a shed in the Dutch town of Kraggenburger in April 2004. The women were beaten and forced to have sex with Rottweiler dogs for the purposes of a pornographic video.

30 May 2006
Dutch paedophiles set up political party

Pro-paedophile activists have established a new political party in the Netherlands to campaign for the legalisation of sex between adults and children. "Ten years ago we were 'on speaking terms' with society. But since [Belgian paedophile killer] Marc Dutroux there is no more discussion. All paedophiles are being put in the same box. We are being hushed up," Ad van den Berg, the co-founder of the new party said. The NVD will lobby for a reduction in the age of consent in the Netherlands from 16 to 12 and then phased out completely over time. "Forbidding makes children all the more curious," Van den Berg said.

6 June 2006
Ambassador leaving 'homophobic' Estonia

Dutch Ambassador Hans Glaubitz is leaving Estonia because his male partner, a black Cuban, has been the victim of homophobia and racism, the Foreign Ministry confirms. The ambassador's partner was subjected to verbal harassment and threats in the street and threats. These began after a local magazine wrote that the appointment of a gay ambassador with a black partner had to be seen as a Dutch provocation. The Foreign Ministry had hoped that Estonia, like its neighbour Finland, would be able to accept a relationship between two men.



ATSRTWT

Living in Dutch, Part Een

From my American-in-Holland expat pal MM, a link to living as a ...well, as an American-in-Holland. Culture is interesting, and I found this article interesting enough to reproduce most of it.

Here is the link, tho.

Getting along with the Dutch
Decoding Dutch behaviour and appreciating the underlying values can be a fun and revealing experience — you might even find the notoriously bad service is not so shocking after all, writes Tatjana van de Kamp...

...[An] effective way to experience positive learning and to start appreciating Dutch values and behaviour is going out and meeting Dutch people, staying curious and asking questions.

When you feel surprised, disappointed or confused by Dutch behaviour or a certain situation, try the following three questions to explore the situation.

Question 1: Could this have happened in my home country as well?

This is a question for yourself: are you experiencing a cultural difference or just a cultural bias?

If I am, for example, complaining about traffic jams and the incompetence of Dutch drivers, I must remember that as soon as I cross the border into Germany, I will also find slow and fast drivers or aggressive and over-cautious drivers and sooner or later I will end up in a traffic jam.

But expats tend to attribute everything that they find disturbing or not working well to the nature of the Dutch. Dutch traffic jams are bad whereas the German traffic jams are normal. This is a cultural bias.

However, if you answer this first question with 'no', it is time for the second question.

Question 2: Could there be a reason for the Dutch behaviour? Did I do anything to provoke it?

This is a question you can easily address to your Dutch counterpart, because you can discuss almost everything with the Dutch.

For example, if you just drop into your new Dutch friend’s house because you happen to be in the neighbourhood, you may be surprised not to feel welcome.

Your Dutch friend may be surprised at your 'disrespect' of his privacy and family life. You have not been invited and have no appointment. You are disturbing the order. Respect for privacy and being in control of one’s life are core Dutch values.

Intercultural encounters are bi-directional, which means that both parties can experience culture shock.

If you still feel you are right in what you did, dig a little deeper and ask the third question before you come to the conclusion that the Dutch have absolutely no manners.

Question 3: What were my feelings? Did I show them?

Imagine you go into a shop and are not served. Maybe you are used to a service focused environment and become annoyed.

If you start asking for service while showing your irritation by unconsciously raising your voice (for example), don’t expect the shop assistant to rush and help you with pleasure.

From the shop assistant’s perspective, she did everything right. She respected your privacy and independence. She performed that role the way she had learned it: not being obtrusive, waiting for you to come and ask for help if you needed it.

But instead of asking her, you are showing your indignation. It is okay to be direct and discuss almost everything with the Dutch, as long as you don’t show emotions and you don’t get personal about it.

Showing anger is interpreted as a lack of interest in a common solution.

And it is certainly regarded as bad manners to treat service personnel or subordinates as 'staff' instead of meeting them as 'equals', paying them the same respect that you would pay to your boss.

Your behaviour may have been based on the assumption that this is just another example of a lack of service orientation in the Netherlands.

The assistant’s reaction comes like a self-fulfilling prophecy: She is irritated at your irritation and you feel confirmed in your assumption. What seems to be bad manners is an intercultural misunderstanding.

Dutch values

Being conscious about these questions can help you become more aware that strange behaviour which looks like poor service or a lack of hospitality could actually be subject to some underlying Dutch values that may differ significantly from yours:

Dutch respect personal freedom and autonomy. Dutch people are very direct, but in a non-emotional and non-personal way. The tone of voice makes the difference.

The egalitarian perspective requires that everyone be treated with equal respect and have equal opportunities.

Which after all, are not bad values, are they?

Staying curious about underlying Dutch values instead of jumping to assumptions does not take away the challenge, but it can open doors to a more pleasant and fulfilling communication and allow you to discover some hidden charms of Dutch culture.

Mini v Mini-er

I weep with pleasure, at the chance to share this.

What a video. Maybe I just missed this, and you have all seen it.

But I was pleased. I was particularly pleased when she made fun of the size of his...well, his car. But it was not terribly subtle. "....and he doesnt' even have a girlfriend." Well, no guy with a car THAT small could have a girlfriend, at least not after the first date.

(nod to Lance)

The squish-crunch of fresh mouse carcasses underfoot...

Anxious Angus writes with New Year's greetings, mentioning that
the Tragic Kingdom, near my home town, has some unwelcome neighbors.

Dee Sincavage, owner of one of the many ornamental plant nurseries for which Apopka is known, is hard pressed to pick her worst mouse experience since the infestation began last summer by chasing kids out of Camp Wewa.

Was it the morning she walked into her nursery and felt the squish-crunch of fresh mouse carcasses underfoot? The night mice chewed through plumbing, flooding her office and soaking her business records? Or just the daily ordeal of drowning and disposing of dozens of live mice caught in traps overnight?

"Gosh, they are all over the place," Sincavage said. "The stench is bad and the gnats around here are terrible from all the dead carcasses. It's just disgusting."

Counter-measures by health authorities, who have established a special rodent command center, so far have been only partly successful. Besides dispensing traps and bait, authorities launched an air assault by releasing 17 barn and screech owls expected to feast on dozens of mice a day. News of the buffet apparently traveled far, luring many more birds of prey to the area.

"We have more raptors than we've ever seen before," Overfield said. "They just line up along the telephone wires and dive down and pick stuff off."

So far, Overfield said, the infestation has not sickened anyone, although the smell of all the rotting carcasses trapped in the walls of many homes and businesses is certainly nauseating.

Oh, my. That's a lot of mice.

The Rationality of Ideology

My main man at Clemson, Bill Dougan, and I had a paper in the Journal of Law and Economics in 1989, entitled "The Rationality of Ideology".

We tried to think of examples that our theory would explain, examples that standard rational choice theory might miss. We thought of some.

But here is a terrific one:

"Republican House staff members who are losing their jobs in the aftermath
of November's loss of control are hoping Democrats will re-extend the hand
of largesse to them next month. As the old Congress wound down in a scramble
of post-election activity, incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi offered to
pay two months' severance to staff members working on some committees and in
House leadership offices. But her offer was scuttled - by Republican
lawmakers, who complained they didn't have the opportunity to study the
proposal and look at costs. The Senate already provides two months pay for
displaced staff members. One of the affected House staffers said his
comrades are mystified that a plan that would benefit employees of
Republicans would be killed by Republicans: 'We hope the Democrats revisit
it.'" [Wall Street Journal]

Now, that does NOT explain why these same yo-yos voted FOR all those roads bills, and earmarks. But the point is that the only way to establish an ideological reputation is when it costs you to do so.

(Nod to KL, who is neither rational nor ideological)

OJ, Gingerbread Nazis, and Holocaust Denial

Nicely done.

As fine a use of YouTube as I have ever seen. Just poses a question. Is he serious? Is he kidding? Is he making us wonder? It's just not clear. And that's why it is so wonderful. Very uncomfortable.

Sometimes, the Internet makes me happy.

Anglico Comes Up Big!

I had not looked at BlueNC, or Anglico's Blog, before.

But he does a pretty funny send-up of my candidacy. Fair enough, though: he links the web site, quotes actual claims by me, and then suggests people sign the ballot access petition. So far, so good.

But what he REALLY did was prompt a reader to make this comparison, in comments:



That's William Katt, in "Greatest American Hero."






Now, compare him to me:



Now, take away the fact that Katt is good looking, and in good physical shape, and you see that WE ARE TWINS. Except for those two caveats....

(If you are interested in my response to the post, you can see it here....)

Overheard at the Harris-Teeter

I am the cook in the Munger house (my wife bakes, sometimes fiercely, but draws the line at producing normal foodstuffs. When asked why, she says, "I went to law school, AND got married. If you do those two things, you should NEVER have to cook.")

One of the big meals I cook is the Italian Catholic traditional (sort of, it's a Rhode Island/Philadelphia ItaloAmerican custom) "7 Fishes" dishes meal for Xmas eve. That's one of the fun things about being Catholic, you get to go through chains of reasoning like this:

1. The Xmas eve vigil requires no meat, but fish is fine.
2. In America, we can celebrate by having a "7 fishes" tradition (I've seen 12, also) of 7 "meatless" dishes. Light things like lobster with butter and shrimp scampi.
3. But, one also gets together for big extended family meals. So you need something that finnicky kids will eat. So you make meatballs, which contain both beef and pork.
4. But, it would be rude NOT to eat those wonderful meatballs, because the cook went to that trouble. So you have one or two, in ADDITION to the 7 dishes of fishes.
5. Then, even after the kids are big, and will eat fish just fine, you still make meatballs, because it is a tradition.

In other words, tradition grows to encompass the exact opposite* of the supposed tradition, without contradiction.

Anyway, in order to get all the stuff I need for two days of cooking, I got up at 7:30 am, got ready, had a cuppa, and then was at the Harris-Teeter grocery by 8:30.

And the freakin' parkin' lot was FULL, already. I had never seen this before, so I have to report it, like an anthropologist might.

1. The store was roughly gender balanced, an equal number of men and women. But nearly all of the shoppers (and the store was nearly full!) were female. Large, small, old, young; hunting and gathering like they have been since...well, since there was a since. And these women had LOADED their carts.

2. Nearly all the workers were men. And there three or four men in EVERY AISLE, trying desperately to stock things. AND THEY WERE LOSING GROUND! Women were taking vegetables, of all kinds, directly off the big trolleys that they bring produce in on from the trucks. Women were pushing the trollyes out of the way, and in some cases literally elbowing the stock-men out of the way.

3. I heard one woman ask why there were no green beans. Stock guy said more were coming, but it was hard because everyone wanted them for green bean casserole. She stared at him, and said: "You are out of it because everyone wants it? I thought you made money selling food." I could have kissed her; a rational person. Wouldn't have minded, actually, since she was also quite fit and attractive. The point is that she is absolutely right. They can't be out of something they KNOW people want a lot of, since the answer is "Stock more." An unexpected run on rutabegas, sure, that could happen. But how can you be out of green beans when you know why people want them at this time of year?

4. I heard one other great conversation, between two stock men, 20 feet apart. They were both probably 25. A sloshing sea of women was surging around these guys, pulling cans off the shelves and checking lists.
Guy 1: "I knew she was going to torture me for that."
Guy 2: "Did she?"
Guy 1: "Oh, you know it. First she says I have to leave, then she says, 'Oh, you really hurt me, you broke my heart. I have to think.' So, I had to listen to like two hours of this crap. Women are just nuts."

5. There was a guy doing an imitation (intentional, I think) of Patton, right behind the swinging doors where they were bringing in stock from the trucks. The guy (who I couldn't see, but could hear clearly when the doors swung open for a trolley, and could still hear a little when the doors were closed) was saying:
"Gentleman, today is war. And you are losing. They are driving you back, and you bunch of candy-asses are just taking it. Get out there! Get out there, and get that stock up, you bunch of maggots! You are the lamest excuses for stockers I have ever seen! You make me SICK!"
I think he was kidding, because all of the stockers coming out were openly laughing, and shaking their heads. But the war metaphor was a good one, although some of those women shoppers were more like pirates. They would waylay a trolley and plunder it before the stocker even knew he had been boarded.

Merry Christmas, and happy cooking!

*this word was left out of original post.

And....a Merry Christmas, from the Mungers!

Overheard at a Liberty Fund Conference.....

Overheard at a Libety Fund Conference, in Key West:

1. During discussion, a very serious time:

Older gentleman: "I found this passage very insightful, or at least provocative. It describes [he describes what it describes, at a bit of length, though not inappropriately so. Description involves metaphor of piracy]"

Younger gentleman: "Oh, I underlined that, too! It said, 'pirates'! I LOVE pirates."

2. During walk, in afternoon:

Older gentleman, very cultured fellow: "Oh, look, I went into that museum last time I was in Key West, 20 years ago!"

Younger woman: "How was it?"

Older gentleman: "It was only a mild rip-off, making it perhaps the most worthwhile attraction on this island!"

"...To See Ourselves As Others See Us"

Whoa, George, can you really not see how you come across, or do you really not care?

"I'm sleeping a lot better than people would assume."

-- President George W. Bush, as quoted in the most recent issue of People
Magazine

Because they assume....you have a soul?

(Nod to KL, who never sleeps)

Manuel Ayau

Interesting, and inspiring, bio over on my pal Hispanic Pundit's blog.

Reminds me of another friend's take on the problem with nearly all modern
policies, and politics, on the poor. We ask ourselves what causes "poverty."

But poverty is the natural state of man. If you fail, if you don't develop effectie institutions, you stay in poverty.

What we need to study, and talk about, is what causes wealth. Except that we already know that: property rights, independent courts, constitutional republic as a government form, and capitalist economy with effective financial institutions.

Why don't most nations have those things? Some of it is education. But some of it is that politicians can't claim credit for letting wealthy citizens keep their wealth. So, we fight poverty, and take money from the rich and give it to government agencies to burn in a thousand smoky little fires. Voters see the smoke, and assume something useful is being done.

What we need to do is NOT fight poverty. What we need to do is fight the things that prevent us from becoming wealthy.

Great Moments in Marriage

A funny story from J.G. at Eternal Recurrence.

Reminds me of "Great moments in marriage," tho.

Here's one: We are at a party, full of Duke glitterati and people from the Durham community, with a lot of visitors from New York thrown in. A little over my pay grade, or at least over my cultural scale of conversation.

At our table of ten, other woman tells story of getting married in Catholic Church, though she wasn't Catholic (hubby-to-be was, is, VERY Catholic). Had to do classes, make promises, etc.

My wife says, "Oh, we had to do that, too! I'm Catholic, but Michael isn't. And something funny happened to us, didn't it, Michael? Tell them!"

I stare at her, say, "Okay...." and then tell this story.

We had to go to classes, and take a test for compatibility, before getting married in 1986. After three weekend (I was commuting down to DC from Dartmouth, in NH) meetings, we had the final debriefing. The priest kept shuffling papers. Then, he turns red, and just blurts out, to me: "Have you told her about your problem? Don't you think you should? It will matter for the marriage. And I'm not sure the church can sanction this union."

I was fairly hung over, as I had been for many of these Sunday a.m. at 8:30 meetings, since we always went out the night before. Thinking quickly, I said, "What?"

It took him a while to work up his courage, making guttural sounds. Finally, he said, "Your problem....the problem with your....(bright crimson bald head now, on priest)....your IMPOTENCE!"

[Apparently, in one of the questionnaires, not really paying attention, I had answered that "YES", I was impotent.]

[This was funny, in part, because Donna had direct evidence, about 7 hours earlier, that I was actually NOT impotent, at least not when I visited her.]

So, she starts giggling, and pretends to cough. I stare at the priest, and mumble about being sorry, I must not have been paying attention. He is mortified (NOTE: How can a celibate priest give advice on sex and marriage, in the first place?) We finish the meeting very quickly, and get the blessing of the church, once it turns out I can make the girl pregnant, so she can do her Catholic duty and reproduce like a wild rabbit.

So, I finish telling this story at the party, and there is hilarity. Good job, I'm thinking to myself, way to be a good dinner guest.

As soon as it quiets down, my wife, who is looking pure daggers at me, says, "My GOD, Michael, not THAT story!"

After we get home that evening, I spend the rest of the night in husband purgatory, teetering right on the brink of husband hell. And I'm not even Catholic!

EPILOGUE: I have no idea what story she actually meant, by the way. When she starts speaking to me, I'll let you know. Should be no later than the end of January.

UPDATE: Anonyman wrote this in comments, but it deserves light in the post itself....

Nice story. Of course, you could have had the exact opposite problem, as I did (no, not impotence)at a recent "holiday" party at my signifcant other's office. I showed up, on time for once, got us drinks, and joined her talking to a group of women from the office. I had given her the drink I retrieved for her and remained there as a dutiful husband. I then proceded to spend the next half hour listen to women discuss not only their own birthing experiences, but those of other women they had known. I stood there motionless, thinking I was scoring points by not leaving, not laughing (at the wrong things), and not vomiting over everyone's shoes. When we finally left, I sat silently in the car waiting to receive my praise for being so polite and well mannered. After about 10 minutes of stony silence I couldn't take it and asked her if everything was OK. To my surprise I was severly rebuked for "just standing there" and "not contributing to the conversation". When I pointed about that I had no "birthing stories" to share, and it was all I could do to keep myself from being sick as I stood there, she told me I should have made somthing up rather than just not say anything. So mm, next time just make it up, it's better than telling the wrong story, or saying nothing at all.

Which One is the Parody?

It actually takes a little effort to figure out which of these is "real," and which is the parody.

Just from the way he says, "and I'm Ed Glaeser," you can tell this is a pretty darned self-pleased group. In fact, from Glaeser's facial expression, he appears to be pleasing himself right there on camera!



The original

Skit (funny in its own right)

Skit (even better, but still not as good as the original)

(grateful nod to Tommy the Wannabe Wannabe, hereafter TTWW)