A Restraining Order From Wal-Mart

A fun little urban-legendy RO from Wal-Mart

Dear Mrs. Denner,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Denner are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House-wares to go off at 5-minute intervals

(MORE AFTER THE JUMP...)

A Little Bit Softer Now....

Not sure why I think this is desperately cute. But I do.

Quality of Spam is Declining

Just got this email:

from: Pardo, Natalia
to: "info@helena.org"

date: Sun, Aug 29, 2010 at 3:01 PM
subject: Hello {Contact me via email:mrs-helena011@hotmail.com}‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏
mailed-bymassey.ac.nz

I am Helena Ethan, a Christian. I have picked you for an inheritance of $8.4 million Dollar's. Please contact me for more details via this email: mrs-helena011@hotmail.com

These spammers today, I tell you. How lazy can you get? No Nigerian colonels, no secret lottery, nothing. And this bozo is from New Zealand. They speak English there (sort of). "$8.4 million Dollar's"?

Skilz

This is pretty good, though there is a debate about it's authenticity:

However, this one is, if anything, better and at least some of the shots appear to be real:



Don't worry, they probably aren't very interesting people!

Angus does Canyon Road

The Santa Fe art scene is not all native american and spanish colonial. There is some excellent modern stuff here.

We saw two new to me artists' works that I really liked this morning. One is Hilario Gutierrez. Here's a sample:

The other is Ted Larson who works with scrap metal in a very painterly way:



Then there is one of my very favorite young painters, Nigel Conway, who I've blogged about before. I am making a fool out of myself lobbying Mrs. A over this piece:



Sadly, I am not making much progress.

Who's on first?

The "heard on the street" section of today's WSJ reports that Greek tourism workers had scheduled a press conference to announce a strike, but realized at the last minute that the Greek journalists were already on strike and thus unlikely to attend the conference, prompting its postponement until such time that the journalists might be available.

Whatever the over/under is on Greek default, I'll take the under.

Laptop Dance: How Could This Go Wrong?

If you are going to steal laptops, you might not want to give full descriptions of same on Craigslist, within a week, and try to sell them in the same city.

Or, maybe you would.

How to make a bad impression

Say that you are ex-NBA player Jayson Williams. Your original murder trial partly cleared you, and now you are just chillin' waiting to be retried for reckless manslaughter. 

You have some time on your hands so.... why not go out, drive drunk and crash your SUV? 

Sure, that's the ticket!

The funniest part of the story is that when police arrived at the scene, Williams was sitting in the passenger seat as if someone else was driving. However witnesses told the cops that he was the only one in the car the whole time. 

I guess he's a fan of Arrested Development.

Who knows, this may work out for him by making jury selection in his retrial impossible.

A way out for Eldrick

People, Tiger's cone of silence plan is not working. Accenture has dropped him, Gillette has de facto dropped him, Tag Heuer is thinking about dropping him, Gatorade has de facto dropped him, and Elin is rumoured to be dropping him, even though he's promised muchos Benjamins for her to stick around.

He needs a game changing play.

My advice? Medicalize it!

That's right, "my name is Eldrick Woods and I am a sex addict". People, it's perfect. Release a statement, go into rehab and come out at the end of 3 months or so magically transformed into the sympathetic figure in the play.

How can a sponsor drop him for having an illness? Jeez, even Elin would seem unsympathetic if she followed through and divorced him or even ratcheted up the pre-nup.

Think about it Tiger, I want to see you play all four slams this year!