Thursday, April 27, 2006

Men are Unnecessary III

The boys and I go out to our "man property." 35 acres of pine forest in Chatham County, south of Pittsboro.

We take provisions: many weapons, a wheelbarrow full of ammunition, 125 cc Suzuki dirt bike, bushels of Doritos, more sandwiches than anyone could ever want, umbrella, folding chairs....and we set up camp.

Then we work on the baseball field that we are building ("If you build it....nerds will come.") Field is shaping up well, will soon be ready for practice.

But the real reason is to do empirical experiments, and record the results. Our most recent experiment was to try to figure out how quickly you could take down a standing, but dead, 4 inch diameter pine tree with shotgun fire by firing at the base from ten yards. Two variables: steel shot/lead shot, and standard/magnum loads.

We kept good data, but the results were so predictable that it is only worth summarizing. No apparent difference in shot type, but magnum load reduces shots required between 30% and 50%. In terms of scale, the MOST it ever took was ten shots, and that was Monty Python ("I'm not dead yet!") tree that we shouldn't have included in the sample.

We also fired several boxes of 22 short shells. We just got a Ruger 10/22, and I have to say it is a whole of fun. We have two 30-round aftermarket banana clips, and the little Ruger is quite sturdy in terms of not jamming even if you fire as fast as you can pull the trigger. It took us a long time to get the scope sighted in, but with the scope set up correctly the gun is as accurate as you could possibly want.

I nailed a toilet seat to a 2x4 frame, over a shallow pit. These latrine facilities are not exactly appropriate for female use, not because they don't work (gravity is EVERYWHERE, I tell you!), but because the open air setting is not something most women would want to try out. For my own view, let me say there is something special about answering nature's call on a small hilltop, and being able to see at least 1/4 mile in all directions, as a gentle breeze blows through your private parts. You sit and think to yourself: MY land! This is MY land! And I am heavily armed! Or, I will be as soon as I get off this toilet seat.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why would you not keep a pistol in your hand as you vacate?

Anonymous said...

In the interest of science, what size shot were you using?

mungowits said...

It was 20 ga., 3 inch mag shells, 1 oz shot

mungowits said...

It was 20 ga., 3 inch mag shells, 1 oz shot