There IS No Great Stagnation

How could there be a great stagnation?  We still have bacon.

And now, we have bacon-flavored condoms.  

As an added bonus - and salty safety precaution - each condom includes "J&D's baconlube™ ultra premium water based meat flavored personal lubricant."  For $9.99, a pack of three fulfills your need to taste and smell like real meat when you bang.

No nation with bacon-flavored (and colored, to look more bacon-like, and scented, to smell bacon-like) condoms could possibly stagnate.  We may go to hell in a pork basket, but we won't stagnate.

With thanks to Charlottean KL.

Makin' Bacon

It is hard to know how to react to this.

First of all, it's a waste of perfectly good bacon.

Second, it is, as my Duke colleague D. Schanzer notes, "intolerance." (He also says that intolerance is in "plentiful abundance," which must be different from regular abundance, I guess...)

I can see that someone might think it was funny (in a not very funny, drunk redneck yelling "FREE BIRD!!!!" kind of way). But I can also see, and moreso, how an already beleaguered minority would perceive this as a threat. If you want to have ham on Easter, to show you are not Muslim (or Jewish), then go for it. But why do you have to go defile someone else's church?

The KKK does not represent mainstream Christianity. Al Qaeda does not represent mainstream Islam. Lay off other peoples' churches.

(Nod to Angry Alex)

What do you mean "we"?

Starbury strikes again!

Carnivores Tired of Getting Dissed

The "why else would people keep pigs?" line was the theme of one of my podcasts with Russ Roberts. Is it really better for ALL cows if NONE of them had ever lived? 'Cause nobody would keep them as pets.

(Nod to Angry Alex)

don't let our youth go to waste

Ah, France, where reality is optional. Thanks for this:

The front lines of the latest French protest against raising the retirement age revealed a remarkable sight: Not the slightest wrinkle, not a single gray hair.
Brandishing "Save our Pensions!" banners, students who haven't even entered the job market yet are already worried about what happens when they leave it.
Welcome to France, where workers' rights are so deeply entwined into the culture that even teenagers are unsettled about plans to raise the retirement age from 60 to 62, which is still among the lowest in Europe. The reform protest brought nearly a million people out into the streets across the country Thursday.

and here is the belle of the ball:

Despite the protest's colored balloons and jovial atmosphere, Julie Mandelbaum, a 23-year-old geopolitics student from the prestigious Institut de Sciences Politiques, was not in a party mood.
Four years ago, she erected barricades in front of several French universities to stop a contentious work contract that would have made it easier for companies to hire — and fire — young workers. The government then abandoned the proposal.

Mandelbaum says the government should tax high wage-earners and banks instead to ensure there is enough money for pensions when she retires.

"Don't let the government squander away our pension!" she bellowed into her microphone, leading the march for France's main student union UNEF.

Markets in everything: Pork-o-meter edition

Sadly this isn't for the kind of pork we really need protected from (which I should have realized right away given that it was invented in Kazakhstan), but it's still awesome nonetheless:

ALMATY (Reuters) – Scientists in mainly Muslim Kazakhstan have come up with an instant test for the presence of pork in food, a popular newspaper reported on Monday.

The plastic-stick test detects food molecules that are found only in pork, which is forbidden by Islam but is easily found in the Central Asian state, Megapolis weekly said.

"It's no secret that some chefs cheat and add pork to beef to make the dish cheaper," the newspaper wrote on Monday, saying the practice was widespread in Kazakhstan.

"When you get your beef patty, cut off a couple of small pieces and drop them in a glass of water. Stir, shake, put the test stick in ... In a minute or two you will see the result."

Megapolis said it was unclear when the test, in which the stick changes color as in a pregnancy test, would become widely available.

I have to say that I think it IS pretty clear when this product will actually become widely available: Never!

Plus, I really admire the onions of a newspaper in Kazakhstan calling itself "Megapolis".

Kudos!

Congress tries a hostile takeover of Obama Motors!

So the Obama administration takes over GM, hammering bondholders, handing over huge chunks of taxpayer money and more or less calling the shots in GMs restructuring.

GM decides to reduce the number of models it offers and close down a bunch of marginal dealerships (2000 or so).

Local dealerships support local congress people, and apparently many of these marginal dealerships want to stay in business with GM even though GM doesn't want to be in business with them.

Congress then passes a law requiring an appeals process for dealers who want to keep the family together.  

1100 dealers appealed!

GM has now decided to re-instate 600 or so of them on the grounds that it's less costly to put up with unprofitable dealerships than it is to fight Congress about closing them.

Meanwhile, the Obama management team for GM opposes the legislation and appeals process because (obviously) it is going to make it that much harder for GM to get a chance at someday being profitable.

So the executive branch tosses billions to bail out GM and the UAW and Congress then mandates that some of that money flow (indirectly) to unprofitable dealerships as well.

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

I feel like Casey Stengel wondering "can't anybody here play this game"?

  

 

The OKC: where we take our processed meats VERY seriously

I am not joking:

Police say a fight over Spam led to a sledgehammer attack.

Investigators said it happened at a southwest Oklahoma City home when Howard Jones thought his roommate ate his Spam.

Officers said the men argued and then Jones hit him in the head with a sledgehammer....

Police arrested Jones on suspicion of assault.

I can only imagine what would have happened if it had been braunschweiger!

Bacon Echoes

I swear this could be Herbert Elmer Munger, speaking from beyond the grave.

Herb and I never got along that well. But towards the end of his life, we got a lot closer. One of my fondest memories, when he was 83 (he died at 85, of congestive heart failure), was the day I broke him out for breakfast at Denny's.

He was nearly blind, but he could smell things. And when his wife would drive him to the doctor's or somewhere, he would smell the bacon at the Denny's.

And then fuss about it for three days. He wanted pancakes, he wanted REAL butter, he wanted 6 or 8 slices of REAL bacon, and he wanted real, caffeinated coffee. He got none of these things at the retirement home (he lived at Meadowood, in Bloomington, a very very very nice place). His wife insisted that he should eat oatmeal, no butter, no sugar.

And, of course, she was right. Except that he was freakin' 83, and he wanted BACON. When you are 48, sure, avoid bacon. When you are 83, go for it.

Well, I was visiting, and he was up early. Like, 5:45 am. I heard him pawing around in the kitchen, I got up, put on my clothes. I said, "Dad, let's go to Denny's."

Him: "Oh....oh, yes."

Me: "We can do this. Get dressed."

Him: "I'll hurry."

We snuck out like we were behind enemy lines. Giggling, actually giggling.

Once we got to Denny's, we got the coffee and water, ordered big stacks o'cakes with bacon (I gave him mine). When the order came, he piled about 3 or 4 tablespoons of whipped butter on his 'cakes. Then, syrup tsunami. Then cut the 'cakes into tiny pieces to maximize surface area. Incredibly, at this point more syrup was required.

He couldn't quite finish the big stack of pancakes, but he did finish all the bacon. And had at least six cups of real coffee.

One of the very best mornings of my life. And Elaine just laughed when we got back to the house; I think she recognized the importance of bacon, every now and then. She even called him "Bacon breath" for about an hour. But he was nappin' in the big chair, a picture of contentment.

Anyway, those twitters, from that guy? Those could be my dad, easy.

(Nod to AH for the Twitter link)