A Taste of Headline Heaven

My love of an excellent, self-contained headline is well-documented.  One advantage of this is that sharp-eyed KPC readers send in examples.

This one...oh, man, this one is excellent:

"Watch woman yell 'bear don’t eat my kayak' as bear eats kayak"

It's all there:  pathos, drama, action.  Lovely.

Thanks to Rob Hallford, who offered this analysis:  "My favorite part is when she screams that the kayak "doesn't even taste good." Like a) she's tried it and b) knows what tastes good to bears. In fact, seasoned with her tears, I bet it tasted pretty damn good. "

Keep 'em coming, folks. 

Update:  Loyal reader DD notes that the Gawker headline is also well done:  "Bear Politely Ignores Woman Yelling at Him to Stop Eating Kayak."

This week's sign of the Apocalypse

Here's what the Massachusetts Office of Travel & Tourism recommends for your next trip to the Bullshit State:

Corn mazes! Indoor water slides! Ring-tailed lemurs! Find all sorts of family fun in MA at: http://t.co/ENG0FZxmv1 pic.twitter.com/nYFwOPWTu4
— Visit Massachusetts (@VisitMA) October 20, 2014

Never mind the Angusian level of exclamation point use, consider how low the great state of Massachusetts has fallen.

I'm not sure what's worse, the recommendations or the fact that the recommendations are so borderline untrue.

I checked Wikipedia and it turns out that Lemurs are NOT endemic to MA (who knew?). So they are suggesting traveling to MA just to go to the zoo. And "indoor water slides"? Do the good people of the Tourism office want you to take a time machine back to the 80s and stay at a Holidome? Finally corn mazes (a) are dangerous and terrifying, and (b) require more space than the entire state of MA to construct properly.

What do you think is the over/under on the percent of MA visitors this fall who participate in all three of these activities?

I'll set the number at 2.5%. Tell me in the comments which side you want.

People, if crap like this can happen, why did we even have the American Revolution at all?

Save American squirrels from French kickers wearing underwear!

Headline:  "Grand Canyon Investigates Squirrel-Kicking Video."

Now I enjoy synechdoche as much as the next person (and, for you economists, that is not a city in upstate New York).

But the image of the Grand Canyon wearing a Colombo jacket and saying, "Now, dere's just one more ting I don't understand..." and springing the trap is irresistible in this case.

I also like where they say "Chances of finding the man are slim."  What about finding the squirrel?

Here's a story about the video.  I was down with the whole thing (I do NOT like squirrels, or deer.  They eat all my plants and bird food, and I would prefer to eat them, at least in the case of deer).  I should note that the pussweilers at YouTube removed the actual video.  Look: squirrels are vermin.  They need to die, or so say I.

UNTIL I learned from the video that the men "are believed to be French." Okay, wait a minute.  Really?  You Froggies wanna get all up in here and be kicking our squirrels around?  Why don't you stay home and step on snails?  They are more your speed, buddy.  I've seen your team play soccer, and squirrels you are NOT.

So:  Save American squirrels from French kickers!

Whales

I can just see the LMM doing this with me, in kayak, off the coast of Argentina.

Well, she might WATCH it, from a beach chair, ON the coast of Argentina.

Economist Questions

AIER does an occasional post where they ask an economist to answer some questions.  Some of the questions are pretty serious, some more whimsical.

I gave it a shot. 

I'll have what he's having

People, did you know that pandas LOVE cinnamon?

Me neither.

But it's true and I've got the proof:




Context here.

Hippo In Pool? Sad Ending

So, the hippo in the pool story was pretty cute: 

The young hippopotamus plopped into the pool on Tuesday at the Monate Conservation Lodge north of Johannesburg. The pool is big enough for the hippo to swim but it's eight feet deep with no steps and "there's no way he can come out," lodge manager Ruby Ferreira told The Associated Press on Thursday.

A game capture team will sedate the hippo and lift it out of the pool with a crane, said MuIsabel Wentzel of South Africa's National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Much of the water has already been drained to make the extraction easier. A veterinarian will be present during operation hippo extraction on Friday.

Except, the poor guy didn't make it:

...a game capture team had been waiting since Thursday for a veterinarian to show up to tranquilize Solly and oversee the operation to hoist him out with a crane.

By early Friday, the hippo was showing signs of stress and was no longer able to stand in the pool, which had been drained of most of its water in preparation for the rescue.

Lying in the murky, feces-strewn water, he emerged occasionally for air, sighing anxiously as he gazed at journalists gathering around the pool.

“He was not as perky this morning, more agitated, like he was irritated. I think because he wanted to get out of the pool,” Ferreira told South Africa Press Association. “We’ve been waiting for the vets and I think they were just a bit too late.”

 

Panda-mania!

        


Vote your preference in the comments.

Fear....the FROG!

IRB should have turned this down; it involves deception.

So, froggy took a hand.


(Nod to the Blonde)

Inchworms: Gore and Frass

I didn't even know what "frass" was. Until now.

Okay, NOW You Can Kill Eagles (But Not Bats), To Show You Love Gaia

So, if all you are doing is building a factory that will create hundreds of jobs, and produce something people want to buy, you will be blocked by the Endangered Species Act. In fact, you may even have to close an existing golf course, because the nice froggies might not like it.

But if you want to build a "wind farm," which actually is a net loss of energy (counting the costs of construction and decommissioning), and produces almost zero jobs, then the feds will happily WAIVE the ESA. Kill all the eagles you want! (But not bats, apparently. Interesting.)

Now, in my view, the ESA is a death sentence, a stupid law that kills more creatures than it saves, by far. But still, if you believe the ESA works, why suspend it for such a marginal "industry" as wind?

Unless of course the whole thing is fake and all you really care about is the costly signal of worshipping Gaia, the Earth Mother? In that case, building an idiotic temple of wind and sacrificing eagles to Gaia actually count twice. We worship you, Gaia! And higher costs mean we love you more! Abraham was only willing to sacrifice his son. WE are willing to sacrifice eagles!

(Nod to the Blonde)

Can I be an honorary gorilla too?

Mrs. Angus and I have been on 4 mountain gorilla treks and saw this same group of gorillas in Bwindi this summer. However, we had to hike for over 3 hours to reach them. This video is AMAZING. OK, the blathering guy for the first minute is a pain, but it gets real good around the 1:55 mark and just keeps getting better from there.

If I ever go again, I'll be sure to wear a black shirt and have plenty of gray hair (one way or another).

Castrating Lambs Can Make You Sick

So, this news story says "castrating lambs with teeth can kill you."

That doesn't make any sense to me. I thought ALL lambs had teeth.

Oh...wait. You mean.... EWWWWWWW!

Nod to the Blonde. Next time she calls Bob Lee her "little lamb" I'll know what she is actually thinking.

In-bred Cat

From the LMM

Flip The Bird

Libertarian bird movement growing!

There's a WIlliam Tell Joke Here Somewhere

Drunk elk found up in Swedish apple tree.

Yes, really.

Nod to anonyman.

Congress CAN Do One Thing

It can suck, scare people, prevent investment, and reduce the value of existing investments. Of course, IF that were true, you could trade on that information.

And perhaps you can. Why do stocks do better when Congress is OUT of session? It could be that the risk is lower, so lower variance (though in that case options should do better when Congress is in session). A more likely explanation is that Congress sees its job as ordering people around and claiming credit for steering the economy. Iceberg! Dead ahead!

A nod to Prof. Newmark, for pointing this out. I like his "exercise for the reader."

Loud Penis

You did not know this.

And you did not even know that you did not know that.

But now you know.

(Nod to Tommy the Brit)

Uganda trip report #3: The big Kahunas

We went on two mountain gorilla treks in the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest in southwestern Uganda. Compared to Rwanda, there are fewer habituated families to see, the hiking is, if anything, tougher, and the rangers are less professional. It's also less crowded and you can pick the group you want to visit rather than being randomly assigned when you reach the park. In both countries, the maximum group size is 8 and the time allowed to be with the gorillas is one hour.

I enjoyed my gorilla experience more in Uganda than in Rwanda, even though (or maybe because?) is was my second time. I was less frantically taking pictures and more soaking the whole thing in. That said, we did get some good photos (clic the pics for more glorious images):

You can see more gorilla photos from the trip here.

Uganda trip report #2: Kazinga channel cruise

For a long time, I've wanted to canoe down the Zambezi river among the hippos and other riverine creatures, but Mrs. Angus wants no part of it. The closest I've gotten so far is the pontoon boat ride down the the Kazinga channel, a 30 km "river"which connects lakes George and Albert in the northern part of Queen Elizabeth park as seen in this aerial photo:

You can see loads of hippos and buffalo, along with Nile crocodiles, monkeys, lizards, a profusion of birds, and sometimes even elephant and lion. We saw pretty much everything but lions on our trip (we did see 11 lions at other times in the park though).

Here are a couple pictures (as always, clic the pic for a more glorious image):