Sunday, December 26, 2004

UP AND DOWN YEAR: KGrease's NC Top 10

NC DEMOCRATIC PARTY--Democrats Need to Find aStandard-Bearer. The state Democratic party finds that the cupboard is bare. They have very few legitimate candidates. Mike Easley is not a Democrat, but rather a technocrat.(In spite of what loyal soldier Ed Turlington says about Easley in the N&O). Silent Mike doesn’t do personal appearances, and doesn’t campaign forother Dems above or below him on the ticket. Erskine Bowles does have some important challenges: there are lots of elections he hasn’t lost yet.

2. DOWN: NC POLITICS—IN-STATE. We Don’t Need a Governor,We Need a Beggar in Chief. Federal funds for storms. For projects, including sand for beaches (630 acres per year). Fat, drunk, and shaking your assets to attract business is no way to go through politics, son (with thanks to Dean Wormer). Yes, I mean the $280 million for the "Dell in the Farmer" program.

3. UP: NC POLITICS—NATIONAL. Say what you want about “Johnny” Edwards; he is a player on the national stage in the Democratic like no one since….well,who? Jesse Helms was able to wield influence, but was not a player. Erskine Bowles was Clinton’s chief of staff…Elizabeth Dole was head of the Red Cross….Terry Sanford got beat for Senate, and basically retired. And, the big bonus for Edwards? Senators often have trouble explaining their votes on controversial issues. But since Edwards showed up for less than half of the votes for the past two years, no one can get him on that.

4. UP: CarolinaPanthers. Super Bowl! DOWN: Hockey generally, and the Hurricanes in particular, are locked out of fan consciousness. This could be the end.

5. UP: The original Hurricanes, the ones that involve bad weather. NC missed the bruntof the storms, but this was one heck of a hurricane season. (Worst hurricane in NChistory: Hazel, Oct 15, 1954).

6. UP AND DOWN: As the number of troops from Army and Marinebases around North Carolina goes up and stays up, the effect on local businesses pushes the economy down.

7. UP AND DOWN: Video Poker. This isn’t that hard, folks. You either have to give up the betting thing, or recognize that you have to pay off the Highway Patrol, or the legislature, quite a bit more.

8. DOWN: Textile mill employment. One-third of the nation’s textile millemployment has disappeared since 2001. In North Carolina, that number is approaching one half. James Taylor said it: Mill work ain’t easy, mill work ain’t hard. Mill work it ain’t nothin’ but an awful borin’ job.”

9. UP: Judge Howard Manning, Jr. I heard a story that God himself was seenwearing a Howard Manning mask. The wordwas that the angels sometimes humored God by letting him think he was aspowerful as a Superior Court Judge. Ofcourse, the real problem is that if Manning wants to pass laws, he might wantto run for a real office, like statesenate. There is plenty of evidence thatincreased spending does not improve education, but Judge Manning is going tohold everyone in contempt. Unfortunately, the legislature is showing its contempt for him, byignoring his imperious edicts. “Some ofyour high schools are about as sorry as I’ve ever seen,” said the good judge. That “sorry” may be because judges who haveno need to create consensus have taken over the education system. In state after state, the wealthy flee thepublic school system to avoid judge-instigated social engineering with kids asguinea pigs. Is it any surprise thatthose same wealthy people then turn around and vote down spending increases andcapital spending? Social engineering isa political loser, judge. But you are sure winning lots of admirers among the life-arranger set.

10. DOWN AND UP: University of North Carolina—Chapel Hill(DOWN), for rejecting money from the Pope Foundation (UP). This may come back to haunt Pale Blue Heaven in the legislature, but for now those nasty folks at Pope have been beaten back. To be fair, this is a real problem for Universities. Donations for endowment are great, but if they come with strings, and require a specific program or set of courses, they place a burden on departments. Yale and Princeton have solved this problem by outright theft, turning programs so far away from the purposes specified by the donors that the donors' heirs sued. You have to give Pope credit: lots of times, you have to spend money to get ink this great. Pope got great publicity by not being allowed to spend money. “Free media,” politicians call it.

Bonus List: An Arresting Year....

Meg Scott Phipps--Who says women can't be politicians? She was so shamelessly corrupt, she could be an honorary man.

Chapel Hill Town Council--How 'bout those cameras at intersections? They put them in, they took them out, the worms play pinochle in your snout...Once again, liberals believe that traffic laws (like taxes) are for other people.

Michael Page, Chair of Durham School Board--Dude, you have to live in the district. It's like a rule, or something.

Keith Cook, Chair of Orange County School Board--Dude, you have to write your own speeches. It's like a rule, or something

Durham City Councilman John Best, Jr--It's the child support, stupid!

Happy New Year! I have been taking the heir to the Mungowitz fortune out for driving practice (he's 15 now). This driving thing...it's hard. So, watch out for a green minivan.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't understand what you mean by number 7# and the highway patrol?

Agree in part with what you said about Pope...I get uneasy when there are stings attached to "gifts"...but given the state of universities today, any sane donor should attach strings with the qualification that universities can refuse. I would never give Duke unrestricted money--that's like giving Larry Moneta a blank check...which is essentially what Duke has done with its money for the past three years.

TtwbC

Anonymous said...

Killllller...cameras are fascist...you should not even want them in liberal land. Besides, I heard a story that they caused more rear enders negating any benefit from the fewer accidents from people occasionally running red lights. If you want cameras, move to Great Britain.

TtwbC (who is not so wannabe anymore...)

mungowits said...

Okay, okay, that was lame. I'm not a fan of the cameras thing.

But the life-arrangers have to accept the consequences of their own policies. If you want Big Brother to have the icy anal probe for others, you have to bend over yourself.