here be monsters

It is really freakin' hot here in Angusland. Dry too. Luckily for us, our local newpaper has decided to publish water conservation tips.

Like this one:

"When you give your pet fresh water, don't throw the old water down the drain. Use it to water your trees or shrubs."

People, can I get a WTF?

What kind of pet does the Norman Transcript think I have, a full grown African elephant? A camel?

Would my shrubs really notice the remnants of my dog's quart sized water bowl getting dumped on them at night?

The British Driving Test

The test to secure a full driver's license in G Britain is notoriously difficult. It takes less than "the Knowledge," but it's still pretty hard.

And, rather strangely anachronistic. Here are two examples of questions from the actual test:

Which THREE should you do when passing sheep on the road?
a) Go very slowly b) Be ready to stop
c) Allow plenty of room d) Pass quickly but quietly
e) Briefly sound your horn (correct answers are a, b, and c)

A person herding sheep asks you to stop. You should

1 ignore them as they have no authority... 2 stop and switch off your engine
3 continue on but drive slowly... 4 try and get past quickly
(correct answer is #2, though of course #1 is clearly the Angus/Mungowitz approach to this, and to ALL other of life's great questions)

Tommy the Englishman notes, in an email: AND I mocked the North Carolina test for asking questions about travelling with passengers in the back of your pickup!

Aye, Tommy: That'll DO, sheep!

UPDATE: I want to add my own favorite topic from the test, having looked at the questions here....The problem involves riding a horse on the road (really, it does):

Before you take a horse on to a road, you should

-ensure all tack fits well and is in good condition
-make sure you can control the horse
-Always ride with other, less nervous horses if you think that your horse will be nervous of traffic. Never ride a horse without both a saddle and bridle.

Now, if *I* obey the command to ride only with other "less nervous" horses, it simply must be true that at least one, and strictly speaking ALL, of my companions are breaking the rules. If their horses are less nervous than mine, then mine must be MORE nervous than theirs. Blimey!

The book also suggests that one should make the horse wear a "fluorescent/reflective tail guard." I'm not sure, but I think that Angus and I once went to a club in New Orleans where the dancers were wearing those, at least at the start of their dance.

Markets in everything: Dromedary Edition

Some things just go together, like roads and serfdom, like Mungowitz and Cheetos, and as KPC readers know, like India and camels!

And now, thanks to soaring oil prices, the bond between Indian and Dromedary is tighter than ever!

Camel demand soars in India

By Jo Johnson in New Delhi

Farmers in the Indian state of Rajasthan are rediscovering the humble camel.

As the cost of running gas-guzzling tractors soars, even-toed ungulates are making a comeback, raising hopes that a fall in the population of the desert state’s signature animal can be reversed.

“It’s excellent for the camel population if the price of oil continues to go up because demand for camels will also go up,” says Ilse Köhler-Rollefson of the League for Pastoral Peoples and Endogenous Livestock Development. “Two years ago, a camel cost little more than a goat, which is nothing. The price has since trebled.”

Market prices for these “ships of the desert”, which crashed with the growing affordability of motorised transport, are rising again as oil prices soar.

A sturdy male with a life expectancy of 60-80 years now fetches up to Rs40,000 ($973), compared to Rs5,000-Rs10,000 three years ago, according to Hanuwant Singh of the Lokhit Pashu-Palak Sansthan, a non-profit welfare organisation for livestock keepers. Entry-level tractors cost around $4,000.

“It’s very good news,” says Mr Singh, whose organisation aims to dispel the image of backwardness associated with camel ownership and tries to promote higher economic returns for breeders. “We had started to see camels, even female ones, being slaughtered for their meat. Now they are replacing the tractor again.”

Ah yes, Mr. Singh, that is very good news indeed.

"the league for pastoral peoples"? "even-toed ungulates"? "little more than a goat, which is nothing"?


People, India and Camels is comedy gold.

Groundhog Day

Last night, Hillary Clinton saw her shadow and now we will be treated to 6 more weeks (at least) of this race to the bottom also known as the Democratic Presidential nominating process. Winning the popular votes in Ohio and Texas keeps Hill alive at least to the April 22nd PA primary and most likely beyond.

The conventional wisdom is that further Dem infighting helps McCain. Indeed his new pal, Fla. Governor Crist, has helpfully offered to schedule a do-over for the debacle that was (wasn't?) the Florida Democratic Primary. That guy has VEEP written all over him!

Oh Mama, can this really be the end.....

....to get stuck with the Sonics when the Hornets are free again??

As King noted on SCSU, the Hornets have agreed on a ransom amount for their eventual escape from New Orleans. We'd LOVE to have them back, CP3 and Tyson and Peja; heck we'll even take Byron Scott if he promises not to make any more commercials for Cox Communications! Basically the Hornets can go free if they fail to average 14,000+ in attendance over the next two years. They are currently averaging around 11,000. They averaged around 17,000 here in OKC.

However, because Clay Bennett has already filed relocation papers for the Sonics to come to OKC (despite their longish remaining lease in Seattle) we can't get the Hornets back! So sick.

Hornets: 23-12, Sonics: 9-26. Plus, Kevin Durant is learning some bad habits, leading the team by far in minutes and shots while shooting 40% from the field (30% for 3s), only getting 4.4 boards per game and averaging more turnovers than assists (3 to 2). Ouch.

The ultimate bad beat situation is the Sonics come here and then the Hornets relocate to Seattle!! It could happen, people.

LOL, Mrs. Angus looking over my shoulder informs me that the actual ultimate bad beat is that no one comes to OKC. I guess she hasn't factored in us buying Sonic tickets and me driving her crazy complaining about Kevin Durant's shot selection for the forseeable future!!

Cry Havoc and unleash the......

Camels of War? Really? In 2007? You betcha!

Hang in there because it's pretty confusing (full story here).

Last week the head of the UN department of peacekeeping operations, said they may fail to protect civilians in Darfur without the required air mobility and firepower.

The United States also said it was "deeply troubled" by the government of Sudan's "foot-dragging and obstruction" on the joint UN-African Union peacekeeping force in Darfur.

But diplomats say several Western countries able to provide hardware such as helicopters are reluctant to do so because of a lack of confidence in the command and control structure for the joint force.

However, all their worries are over now because they have the magnificent fighting camels of the Indian Border Security Force (BSF), right? Well not so fast.

"In principle the BSF has agreed to the request and will wait for the UN to approach it through the ministry of home affairs," said the chief of India's elite 200,000-member frontier force, A. K. Mitra.


Oh no, agreement in principle? I'm pretty sure that means no agreement at all.

The BSF in India also warned that any deployment of trained camels to transport foot soldiers in Darfur may be some time away.

"All our camels are engaged in border-guarding duties and this whole process could take a long time," said BSF spokesman Vijay Singh, adding the agency could currently spare up to 60 of its 700-plus battle-ready animals for Sudan.

Lol, I got your camels right here, Darfur! Oh and what makes a camel battle ready you ask?

The camels conscripted into the BSF are trained not to react to gunfire and are taught to crawl and follow other "soldierly movements".

I am not sure which is funnier, "conscripted" or "other soldierly movements". All I can say is thanks very much to Pratap Chakravarty.