This week's sign of the Apocalypse

People, the deathtrap that is Applebee's somehow continues to evade the law.

Here the poor victim Hiram Jimenez (not making that up), was unsuccessful in his quest for justice after Applebee's vicious fajita platter burned him WHILE HE WAS PRAYING!

(While he totally has a great legal case, I can't help but wonder if perhaps he was beseeching the wrong deity to end up scorched during prayer)

People, the waitress put the fajitas in front of Hiram without advising him that it was hot! So naturally Hiram assumed it was safe and "bowed his head "close to the table,"" perhaps to complain to the Almighty that his fajitas were not hot.

(I think that maybe the Lord answered his prayer and caused the fajitas to ignite?)

I can't decide if the punch line here should be (A) what a horrible miscarriage of justice that this dude can't make bank on Applebee's, or (B) what kind of a schmuck prays for a miracle, gets it, and then sues?

So here are both:

A: People, if crap like this can happen, why do we even have a legal system at all?

B: People, if crap like this can happen, why do we even have miracles at all?

Words of wisdom from the Honest Toddler

"Owls are evil and haunted. If you have one, kill it with fire."

"I know the two of you are convinced that the Fischer Price Ocean Wonders Turtle Nightlight thing is some kind of proverbial night watchman, but I assure you if an owl tried to collect my eyes at 10PM, that $50 construction would prevent nothing."


"Owls are like the Twizzlers of woodland creatures. People pretend to like them but at the end of the day everyone's upset and asking why."