Thursday, May 01, 2014

Whacking Day

I posted this on FB, and thought I would share it here.

Walked out into the garage to get some cold drinks for my evening repose of news and baseball scores. Heard a hiss/slither near my feet, looked down expecting to see a mouse. Saw instead a copperhead, about three feet away, on the floor. 

Went back inside, got the Remington 870. But of course the snake is in the garage, right beside the car. So I can't really shoot it. So I beat it into a pulp with a metal broom while also shrieking like a 13 year old girl at a Justin Bieber concert. 

Not the most manly thing I've ever done, but the snake is dead. About 18 inches long, not a big copperhead but plenty big enough. He was sitting right where the dogs run past for their evening constitutional, too. 

We just got lucky, I guess. The snake, not so much. I think I'm going to have 5 or 6 of those cold drinks, now. 

Which suggests that I share "Whacking Day," a remix.  Enjoy.


Squints said...

Cue the Barry White.

Unknown said...

That reminds me of an incident that happened a few years ago when I lived in Florida. I was walking my dog around the neighborhood and noticed half a dozen of my neighbors standing around the side of one of their houses looking intently at something. I walked up to see what they were looking for and saw a water moccasin that was a bit under three feet long. They said they had been trying to kill him with a shovel, but he would make a strike at them.

I took the dog home, put on some jump boots and brought a samurai sword. A shotgun would have been better but all my neighbors were transplanted urban Northerners and would have freaked out if they heard a gunshot in their gated community. I didn't want 100 people to call 911 and have a dozen cop cars show up.

The snake was right next to the house, parallel to the wall, so I couldn't cut his head off. The arc of the blade would have hit the wall of the house. But I cut down onto his head and it killed him.