Epic Boyfriend Fail

The guy got the tickets. He knew it was tough spot. The young lady said, "I'm going to get hit." Candy-ass boy said, "No, honey, I'll catch it!"

Then the ball comes, and he not only ducks, he GETS UP AND RUNS. The ball hits her, hard.

And pussweiler boy is happy that "they" got a baseball. He's grinning. He tells the interviewer he "lost it in the lights." Oh, so THAT'S why he ran squealing, because he didn't see the ball. (Though he does now have a facebook page, with some very racy pictures of his girlfriend Sarah...)

If I did that to the LMM, my ass would be so fried for so long I might as well just kill myself.

I would HOPE I might have done it this way. This guy is a fine demonstration of how you act with a date at a baseball game.

1. Stand up, staying still, placing your body between ball and lady.
2. Lady hides behind you.
3. You catch ball.
4. You hand ball to lady; "Here, my love, I got this for you."

Now, there is another way to do it. Lady brings glove, lady defends self, that's all good. But there should be some agreement in advance. As in fact there was, with Bo the Bailer. He agreed he would be in charge of catching the ball.

(Nod to Angry Alex)

Allen Craig Watch

The Allen Craig watch, in spring training for El Birdos.

Before........... AB: 20 SO: 3 BB: 4 OBP .583 SLG .750 AVG.500

One Week Later: AB: 27 SO: 4 BB: 5 OBP .531 SLG .667 AVG .444

Allen has by FAR the bast stats for anyone with at least 15 at bats.

But he got assigned to AA Springfield, where he played last year.

We could sure use another lefthanded pitcher. Jaime Garcia has an ERA approaching 6, and NOT as a starter (As Angus is fond of saying, very slowly: "OTHER....PEOPLE's..... RUNS!"). Trever Miller is nearly 36 years old. Royce Ring has given up 16 earned runs, in 6 total innings pitched. That's an ERA well over 20. The only real lefty we've got is Dennis Reyes, who is 32 years old and looks rounder than the 250 he's listed at in the stats. Still, Reyes is a veteran, a solid guy, with a WHIP of 1.5 in nearly 650 total innings pitched. His ERA last year was 2.33; glad to have you, Dennis! Stats, and a video of the chubby one in action.

Anyway, we sure could use another lefthander. A spot starter guy, but mostly to come in and shut down one lefthanded batter in a tough inning. Right now, we have a bunch of guys who just spray gas on the fire.