1. Minor League Team offers A-Rod a contract. Haters point out that he's never won an International League title either!
2. Swiss Miss tests positive for blow at Wimby and then announces her retirement. so THAT's why she lost in straights to Laura Granville!
3. Pacman seeks time off for good behavior, after all, he hasn't been arrested or caught makin' it rain since getting suspended.
4. The Ricky Davis Era has officially begun in Miami. God help us all (Davis 19 shots, Shaq 6).
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