Monday, September 01, 2014

Monday's Child

1.  Studying

2.  "What did you do today, liebchen?"  Oh, I spent six hours trying to shoo a moose into a container.  "Oh, that's nice."

3.  Several oddities here.  One:  Jewelry stores sell gold nuggets?  Do people melt them down for DIY?

4.  So, what we need is a way to prevent citizens from communicating, and to have that switch in the control of the state?  What could possibly go wrong with that plan?

5.  Cyclists are better people than you are.  And our laws need to reflect that.


6.  Christianity with Chinese characteristics...

7.  This person asks an amazing question:  “What is a church willing to do to support its pastor? And is that willingness conditioned by a consumerist mindset or a robust theology?"  In other words, "Pay me more, you b**ches."  I would have said that if the guy has a "robust theology" he'd be willing to pastor without pay.  That "robust" thing works both ways, in other words.

8.  Fewer students attending football games...

9.  A salute to the LMM, "Destroyer of Paper Products."

10.  To paraphrase Andy Warhol:  In the future, everyone's brand will be stolen for the common good. 

11.  People laugh because folks in Kosovo admire Hillary Clinton's fashion sense?  Okay, that's ridiculous.  But the idiots in Sweden gave Obama a Nobel Peace Prize.  That's far more ridiculous.  Leave Hillary alone.  Thos pastel pant-suits look good on chubby older women.

12.  Taunting?  This was taunting?  Really?

13.  Looks like an incredibly boring movie.  But it's just a tomato fight.Some story of the origin.

14,  Interesting how many women want to "empower" other women by ordering them precisely how to think and act.

15.  Brain-eating amoebas?   I hate brain-eating amoebas.

16.  Pocket change.

17.  Book title?  The Audacity of Taupe.

18.  If you eat your cake, you won't have it.  But if you don't eat it, you can sell it.

19.  Dog goes all Glen Close:  "I won't just be ignored..."

20.  Darwin Award in waiting.  Just a matter of time...  185 on a motorcycle at night, in the mountains.

21.  There are several blonde jokes here, I'm sure...

22.  Grades as a matter of comparison.

23.  Five sentences.  I think this is two too many, but still it's a good start.

24.  Enjoy your trip?

25.  Naming rights, and naming wrongs.

26.  Shovel Ready.

27.  Britain is poor.  Poorer than any U.S. state.  Except Mississippi.

28.  There are some things you might do on a first date.  This, I believe, is what you would do on a last date.  Note the young lady on the dude's immediate right gets soaked.  His claim that "But it was a great catch!" is not going to save this relationship. WAS a great catch.

29.  No more victims?  There were no victims in the first place.

30.  Janet said, "I thought there's no use getting...into heavy petting.  It only leads to trouble, and.... seat wetting."  But apparently heavy petting can also lead to marriage.  Just not a very good marriage.

31.  A novel defense:  "We could not possibly have conspired.  Because she hates me and we weren't speaking to each other."  Yes, really.

32.  The incredible smallness of being.  And here is the so-called "knee defender."

33.  How will we ever miss them, if they won't go away?

34.  I ran in this.  Briefly.  Before I sprained my ankle so badly I needed a soft cast for a month.

35.  From "loophole" to "mandate."

36.  Cute dog.  And...  Good dog.  And now Lilly has her own web site.  Mmmm... massage dog.

37.  The Democratic Party as an extortion racket.

38.  Mmmmm..... bacon.



James Oswald said...

I'm sure your finely honed satire detection sense tingled at #5, but for not-so-savvy readers, clickhole is a joke site.

Anonymous said...

#4 is another example of a silly useless law designed to let the politician be seen as "doing something about this terrible crisis" Phone companies Already have the ability to disable a stolen phone for other than emergency calls. When I discovered that my phone was stolen, not just lost I called my provider, AT&T and they promptly disabled the SIM chip.

Michael said...

re: anonymous on #4

your phone company can disable your SIM, but they can't prevent the thief or eventual purchaser of the stolen phone from activating it and using it with their own SIM (from a different carrier).

the nice thing about features like Apple's "activation lock" is that the phone has to ping Apple's servers every time a new SIM is inserted, giving them an opportunity to require account information to unlock. This proposed law would require other manufacturers to provide a similar feature.

people are worried about the law though because the way it is written suggests it would give law enforcement the opportunity to disable phones in an area on-demand, such as during unrest or rioting. This is abhorrent from a civil-libertarian perspective.