Thursday, March 29, 2012

Bad to the bone

Wow. Some enterprising fellow in Austria, (allegedly named Hans Url, so this may be a hoax) faced with the heinous prospect of having to get off the dole and go to work, cut his foot off with a power saw, tossed it into a fire so that it could not be re-attached, and then called emergency services.

Unfortunately for him, missing a foot does not automatically keep you on the dole, even in Austria!

Let's break it down:

(1) People, they can't pay the guy benefits after that, right? Jeebus, the whole country would go cut their feet off then!

(2) The linked article refers to the miscreant as "footless". Is this just a slip of the pen, or has the guy actually DONE THIS BEFORE?

(3) The gentleman is from a town in the Austrian state of Styria, which if you are a fan of Thomas Bernhard, should be making you nod your head knowingly and murmuring "it figures".


Anonymous said...

I read about this somewhere. Oh, wait... I've got it... it was in a blog called Kids Prefer Cheese. Ever read that? Some guy Mike Munger just posted about this....

It's an amazing story, though, and may warrant multiple posts. Isn't the fact that he has one foot less than before make him foot-less?

Dave said...

The fire toss was gratuitous. I am a limb amputee. Unlike hands, it takes forever and a day for nerves to grow down and re-attach for a leg. I was told 18 months. During that time you got a wet noodle, and the likely your mobility will suck compared to a prosthesis. Well, at least that was the case in 1994 when my foot was cut off accidently.

Still work for the man though.

Walt said...

Back in the Seventies a buddy came home on Army leave from Germany. At a party on our farm he repeated, over and over, his hated of military life. As the evening progressed and beer was consumed it was decided the best solution was to smash his kneecap with a large rock rendering him unfit for service.
This was done. Alas, the Army saw through the ruse and his time in hospital did not subtract from his time left to serve.

Anonymous said...

Not a hoax! German-speaking media from Austria report it too.