Monday, November 01, 2004

Now, HERE You Go: A Real Service

JMPP suggests that my earlier loathing for the youth or disgust with wholesomeness might be remedied simply by sharing information on the alternatives. As opposed to this, which clearly does not involve actual sex.

JMPP's suggestion is this: Votergasm. The illustrations are particularly unwholesome. CERTAINLY NOT WORK SAFE, SHALL WE SAY....

The pledge: I pledge to have sex with a voter on election night and withhold sex from non-voters for the week following the election.

Honoring the pledge: Pledge-fulfilling sex must be consensual, legal, and generous. And safe. And hot.

Time for a "Hollies" riff, which describes Votergasm's view of the election pretty well:
I saw her head up to the table
Just a tall walkin' big black cat
A'Charlie said, "I hope that you're able boy."
Cause I'm tellin' you she knows where it's at.
Well suddenly we heard the sirens,
And everybody started to run.
Jumpin' outta doors and tables,
Well I heard someone shootin' a gun.

So, everybody get out there, and find someone to help you ring your bell, or yank your lever. Preferably the LIBERTARIAN lever. It's the biggest one, after all.

Thanks, JMPP! And good luck on election day.