Saturday, July 28, 2012

He hit himself with his rhythm stick!

You just can't go wrong with this story.

A 36-year-old Jacksonville man is accused of performing a sex on himself while driving south on Interstate 95 near Ormond Beach.  Ronald Ayers was charged with indecent exposure on Wednesday.

He denied performing the sex act, saying another driver who reported him to authorities misunderstood what he was doing while driving – using drum sticks to hit his steering wheel.

Some salient facts:  (1) It was apparently consensual.  (2)  The guy's defense, his DEFENSE, mind you, was that he had both hands off the steering wheel and was pounding the steering wheel with his drumsticks.  (3) The woman who claims she had a "clear view" was clearly not looking at the road, herself.

Reminds me of the old joke.  Woman calls police, says man is exposing himself in window of other apartment.  Police come in, she points, "See!  SEE!  It's disGUSTING."

Policeman looks.  "Ma'am, I don't see anything."

Woman.  "Well, of course not.  You have to stand on the chair, and use these binoculars."

Nod to Angry Alex, and with thanks to Mr. Drury for the title, which of course I adapted.

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