Saturday, February 22, 2014


Chivalry?  Common sense?  Sexism?  You decide.

I generally do #1, #3, and #8, and try to do #5 and #6 regularly.  

The third one (open the door) just makes sense; the LMM often actually waits for a beat at the door, on the assumption that I will open it.  We're a team, here, and I need something to make me feel like I'm on the team!  And some doors are very heavy.  MM=2.4*LMM. 

The second (pull out her chair) is probably a good idea; I should try it.

The reason many men do NOT do these things may be this.

Ladies:  do you want men to want to do more of these things?  Or is it insulting?


Anonymous said...

#1: It's common in the Southwest US, especially among Hispanic men. I generally do it if the woman is middle-aged or older. In Europe, though, I was admonished for doing so. In Germany I offered my airport shuttle bus seat to the female 1/2 of a middle-aged couple and she looked at me as if I were insane.

Peter M said...

Feminism killed chivalry. When women get insulted by men trying to be gentleman, it's time to re-evaluate what feminism means.

Tununak said...

I moved to Raleigh from Ann Arbor years ago (have since moved elsewhere). It was a culture shock in many ways. When Southern men opened the door for me, at first I thought I should follow my feminist programming and act annoyed. But they were obviously nice men and were being kind to me, and I came to enjoy it (and expect it!). So much for feminist BS. If you think it's demeaning for someone else to do you a favor, you are too insecure to be called an adult.

Anonymous said...

For someone interested in chivalry, he's sure quick to tell other people they're being a man (or woman) wrong. Niceness only extended to those who deserve it, apparently.

Kitty_T said...

I've occasionally told my son that the single most effective thing a man can do to make himself attractive to a woman (besides at least pretending to pay attention when she's talking) is to stand up when she (or any woman) approaches. That gesture is so rare these days that it stands out. And, unlike door opening and chair pulling, it doesn't involve any direct interaction with the woman, so there isn't really an opportunity for misguided feminist objections.

I could stand to see giving up seats for women traded in for giving up seats for the old, infirm or burdened, but it seems to be fading out in favor of nothing, and when I couldn't get a seat on the subway when I was obviously about 15 months pregnant, I didn't consider it a great victory for equality.

Anonymous said...

My dad made me do #7: walk on the outside of sidewalk when I was little (with Mom). His rationale was that if a car jumped the curve I would be the first one hit.

tollison said...

What about the difference between ladies and mens golf tees, say, by state?