Thursday, August 07, 2014

The Libertarian Moment?

From NYTimes Magazine...

“Let’s say Ron Paul is Nirvana,” said Kennedy, the television personality and former MTV host, by way of explaining the sort of politician who excites libertarians like herself. “Like, the coolest, most amazing thing to come along in years, and the songs are nebulous but somehow meaningful, and the lead singer kills himself to preserve the band’s legacy. 

“Then Rand Paul — he’s Pearl Jam. Comes from the same place, the songs are really catchy, can really pack the stadiums, though it’s not quite Nirvana. 

“Ted Cruz? He’s Stone Temple Pilots. Tries really hard to sound like Pearl Jam, never gonna sound like Nirvana. Really good voice, great staying power — but the whole is not greater than the sum of its parts.” 

Oy.  No.  Ted Cruz is not Stone Temple Pilots.  Ted Cruz is Vanilla Ice, at best.

Nod to RS.

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

We'll leave the light on for you

The NY times has proclaimed that moving inland, away from our coastlines is a new trend that's being driven by affordable housing in the heartland. Their poster child for the new inland meccas is none other than Oklahoma City!

The article actually cites 6 cases, which is a huge data set for a Times trends piece.

So come all ye coastals, cramped, beat down and hassled,
come ye, o come ye to Ok-la-home-ee.

If you want to fit in, here's a few things to remember.

If you want to tell someone they're a big ass*&(* just say "Bless your heart"

If you want to ask someone to lunch, just say "jeet yet?"

If you want to announce that you are about to engage in activity X,
just say "I'm fixin' to X" (eg. I'm fixin' to fix dinner)

Please be aware that there will be lengthy prayers before any and all athletic events.

Please be aware that noodling is a real thing.

Please be aware that you are now living in an irony-free zone.

Other than that you should be good to go!

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Save American squirrels from French kickers wearing underwear!

Headline:  "Grand Canyon Investigates Squirrel-Kicking Video."

Now I enjoy synechdoche as much as the next person (and, for you economists, that is not a city in upstate New York).

But the image of the Grand Canyon wearing a Colombo jacket and saying, "Now, dere's just one more ting I don't understand..." and springing the trap is irresistible in this case.

I also like where they say "Chances of finding the man are slim."  What about finding the squirrel?

Here's a story about the video.  I was down with the whole thing (I do NOT like squirrels, or deer.  They eat all my plants and bird food, and I would prefer to eat them, at least in the case of deer).  I should note that the pussweilers at YouTube removed the actual video.  Look: squirrels are vermin.  They need to die, or so say I.

UNTIL I learned from the video that the men "are believed to be French." Okay, wait a minute.  Really?  You Froggies wanna get all up in here and be kicking our squirrels around?  Why don't you stay home and step on snails?  They are more your speed, buddy.  I've seen your team play soccer, and squirrels you are NOT.

So:  Save American squirrels from French kickers!

Monday, August 04, 2014

Monday's Child

1.  Spock look-alike draws line at "The Vulgar Vulcan."  Yeesh.

2.  They's trahn to teach us Suhthahnahs to talk goodah.  Why would anyone be upset about that?  Nothing insulting or condescending in THAT idea, is theah?

3.  Just a fluke?  This does seem suspicious.  On the other hand, I'm not sure I can take someone seriously if he can't spell dinero.  Saying "mucho deniro" makes it sound like she's invoking the actor.

4.  There's a limit to how much you can abuse people and subject their children to indoctrination combined with horrible education.  But it's a shame that we are doing this in response.  Most folks--including me!--don't know enough to educate their own children in any broad way.

5.  Beta marriages?  Once.  And Twice.  And Three Times.


Sunday, August 03, 2014

Dutch Boy and Jackie Blue

Apropos of nothing, I feel obliged to resurrect this photo of my high school bruhs Dutch Boy and Jackie Blue.  Check that hair.  And the amazingly politically incorrect sign.

Jackie notes that he is still supple.

Prof Strips down to "motivate students"

Um...gosh.  I'm pretty sure this would be a problem at Duke.

Presumably, the "motivation" is this:  If you don't shape up, I'll take off my shirt again.  ("No, no!  We'll be good!")