Saturday, October 11, 2014

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag

The LMM's account of the morning I had my eye surgery.

MM's SETUP:
Had not eaten for quite a while, was pretty nervous.  The nurse tried to put the needle into the large (but highly wiggly) veins on the back of my hand.  She missed, missed, missed again, and then just tried to pursue the vein around, digging the needle into my hand and wrist.

I could feel myself getting dizzy.  Then really dizzy.  So I said, "I'm getting dizzy."  And then a few minutes later I woke up, with several doctors standing around me.  And with an oxygen tube in my nose.  Apparently I had taken a short vacation away from consciousness.

LMM's ACCOUNT:

Nurse, Mary, commented we didn't have a "chair" (which was actually a bed) in our holding pen (my description of waiting area). She said she'd start the IV with you sitting up in a real chair. She asked if I was ok watching her put in the IV. I said no and turned around. You said you were fine. Mary started slapping your hand to get a vein in your lower left wrist. Think she said darn or something like that, said the vein had rolled, that is sometimes does. Said she was sorry, asked if you were ok. At first you said yes. She kept saying she had it in there but it rolled. By this time another nurse had brought in the "chair." Mary nurse started to try to get the vein again.

You said you were starting to feel dizzy and perhaps she should try while you were laying down. Even as you said you were dizzy, I could see your eyes rolling back in your head. The nurse had turned her away from you. Your head went back and I yelled, "he's fainting." She turned around and yelled for a doctor. Dr. Ramos, the anthesiologist, came in and muttered something in doctor language to Mary about what was happening to you.

He walked up to you and slapped both side of your face, yelling Mr. Munger, wake up or are you in there, something like that. He then yelled for another doctor, Dave. With your head back and your face absolutely placid, you then started snorted as if you couldn't breath. Dave hadn't come yet and I yelled for him to come.

Dr. Ramos said to bag you and he and Mary gave you oxygen. Then you started to come to and didn't remember a thing, vaguely remembering you had said you felt a little dizzy. Mary then put you in the bed and had another nurse, Melissa, come in to put in the IV. Mary said she learned her lesson not to start an IV in a chair again. When you passed out you looked just like you did in Chile when you had fainted back on the floor of a restaurant while standing straight up.

LMM's Postscript:  When they said "bag 'em," I thought for half a second that he must be dead.  But then I realized they just meant to give him oxygen.  Still....the life insurance would have been nice.

Nobel Predictions

When it comes to the literature Nobel, nobody knows nothing.

And that's a good thing.

Thursday, October 09, 2014

Man bites Iceberg

This is an actual headline from an actual story from the actual internet:

Antarctic sea ice hits an all-time high, NASA blames global warming

 No there is not a typo. That is what the story actually claims.

 People, I'm not gonna read it, I'm just gonna  mock it. Let me know in the comments if I'm being a jerk. 

Wednesday, October 08, 2014

A Petition against the Young

Man, Mungowitz knows me so well and trolls me so hard!

He pointed me to this Onionesque piece from the mighty Chronicle of Higher Education, requesting that journals please refrain from publishing papers written by grad students for (wait for it), THE GOOD OF THE GRAD STUDENTS!

I am not making this up. You gotta go read this piece.

Here's how I responded to Mungo when he befouled my Facebook feed with this drivel:

"LOL, sure let's ban the one thing grad students can do to empower themselves and keep them dependent on our recommendations and the rank of the school they attend. It has the side benefit of reducing competition in the publishing market too. Genius!!!!"

The argument, if you can call it that, is that students spend too much time trying to publish and not enough on their dissertation so they end up staying in grad school "too long".

And the only solution that occurs to the petitioner is to ban student publications.

I expect my students to publish AND finish their dissertations in 5 years. Many do. I work with them to make journal articles and the dissertation be complements, not substitutes. This is a common practice in economics and a fairly obvious solution to the alleged problem haunting the author of the Chronicle piece.

I've had some late blooming students who could benefit from a 6th year in terms of bettering their job placement, but since they will get some type of job anyway, I leave that decision up to them. It's a pretty tough call and I try to respect their decisions whatever my own personal take may be.



Monday, October 06, 2014

Monday's Child

1.  The sharing economy....with a paring knife and some mayo.

2.  This is about 3-4 miles from our house.  Bachelorette parties? 

3.  Another man who regrets using too much cologne.  Perhaps if he left the window down...or if he hadn't driven a bright red car....or if he weren't an idiot.

4.  Rent-seeking may be unavoidable.  But do we really need to promote it?

5.  Odious Rove:  The George Costanza of American Politics.

moremoremore

Sunday, October 05, 2014