Saturday, December 06, 2008

Getting ready for the deluge

Universal Grade Change Form

To: (professor/teacher/instructor)________________________


I think my grade in your course,_________________, should be changed from___to___for the following reasons:

  1. ____The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
  2. ____The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
  3. ____This course will lower my GPA and I won't get into:
    __Med School __Dental School __Chiropractic School
    __Acupuncture school __Grad School __Mickey Mouse Club
  4. ____I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in ___________.
  5. ____I'll lose my scholarship.
  6. ____I'm on a varsity sports team and my coach couldn't find a copy of your exam.
  7. ____I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
  8. ____I studied the basic principles but the exam wanted every little fact.
  9. ____I studied the facts and definitions but the exam asked about general principles.
  10. ____I understood the material; I just couldn't do the problems.
  11. ____I can work the problems, but your exam expected understanding.
  12. ____You are prejudiced against:
    __Males __Females __Protestants __Chicanos
    __Jews __Catholics __Muslims __People
    __Blacks __Whites __Minorities __Jocks
    __Students __Young people __Old people
  13. ____If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance.
  14. ____I was unable to do well in this course because of the following:
    __mono __acute alcoholism __drug addiction
    __VD __broken finger __pregnancy __fatherhood
    __I have allergic reaction to brain work __I am intellectually challenged.
  15. ____You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done.
  16. ____I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
  17. ____The lectures were:
    • __too detailed to pick out important points
    • __not explained in sufficient detail
    • __too boring
    • __all jokes and no material
    • __too serious--not enough entertainment to keep me awake.
  18. ____All my other profs have agreed to raise my grades.
  19. ____I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
  20. ____This course was:
    • __too early, I was not awake.
    • __too late, I was tired.
    • __at lunchtime, I was hungry.
  21. ____My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, term paper) for this course.

From Donald Simanek, hat tip to John Palmer.


Tom said...

I totally into #15, but the instructions don't say whether to put a check mark or an X. (OR, I didn't read 'em.) I have to go with #19

Vincent said...

Last year, a student of mine asked for a re-grade because his father had promised him a backpacking trip if he had all-As...

The list is hilarious