Saturday, June 11, 2011

Tales From Berg I: Martin

So, frequent commenter and KPC BFF Martin and I had spent nearly 4 hours at a table at Berg, eating the chocolates that Der Geist (Scrounger forever) demanded I open and drinking mass biers (Maßkrüge). (By "mass biers" I don't mean many, or Spanish for more, I mean 1 liter bier glasses, which are different from bier goggles).

Anyway, Martin and I were walking back toward town from Berg, along the Haupstrasse, with 10,000 or so other merry folks. The atmosphere is a little charged, a lot inebriated.

Some moron decided he was going to drive. A car. On the Hauptsrasse. Now, it was so crowded, curb to curb, that you really couldn't walk. Drive a car? Really? Goofball in the car, and his passenger, are yelling, revving engine, squealing brakes, and going exactly the same speed as the people walking.

I got out of the way, but Martin (you have to know Martin; he is basically a psychological twin of Angus, if Angus were a German Socialist) not only didn't get out of the way but walked a little slower. Goofball in the car keeps revving/braking, finally actually touches Martin's leg with the car.

More happened then. I was watching Martin, who turned,gave an excellent wind up and released a nice high arching spit onto the car's windshield. I followed the trajectory, like a camera cut, to...pandemonium. The crowd was enraged that one of its own had been touched intentionally by a car. There were 2 or 3 guys with their legs sticking out of both front windows. They had dived (diven?) into the car, turned it off, put it in neutral, and were now beating the crap out of the occupants.

Martin and I walked on. Half a km later, we looked back, and the car was in exactly the same place, though by now the flashers were on. (Nice touch). Martin felt bad about the spitting (which I thought was fully called for). The beating... hard to say.

And der Geist ate all my damned chocolates. Scrounger.


Anonymous said...

"They had dived (diven?) into the car . . ."

They dove into the car . . .

Anonymous said...

You were right. The past participle is "dived." Dove can be used but not as a participle.

Martin said...

The reason why I did the car thing is probably this: I wanted to show the American guest how peace is made in Germany. There were (at least) three mistakes I made:

First, I spat. Even though, I did not hit a person, it was an act of attacking. Even physical in a way. A mistake.

Second, for just one moment I misconfused Mungowitz with a typical American. While I was trying to tell him how to police the world the right way, he was just going out of the way. Simple as that.

Third, after making peace by spitting, I opted for the quick exit option. Let the people take over. To be honest, I did not really look back. Justice took over. Peace was made. By the mob. Sort of.

Mungowitz said...

"Get out of the way" is the essential Libertarian foreign policy rule.

And, yes, if a coma is "peace," there was peace.