Three Suitcases, Zero Dresses: Guest Blogger Ms. Mungowitz
A guest post....from my wife. Yes, this really happened.
I added some editing, and obiter dicta. But this is her story, so I'll let her tell it.
Went to Fundman's wedding in Chicago. (Editor's note: For my view, see here) Nice big Italian-style wedding with open bar. (Editor's note: It's also Irish style; my wife is from Rhode Island...EVERYBODY's Italian) So we decided to fly up and back overnight and leave boys alone for first time. We were a little worried about what the older younger Munger would do, given that he had done this the week before.
So, plan was flight to leave at 9:20 a.m NC time, gets in 10:20 am Chicago time. Direct flight. Rent a car. Go to hotel, about 20 min away. Get dressed up, refresh... wedding is at 2:00 and about 30 min from hotel. Should be no problem. Easy in fact. Well, pride goeth before a train wreck.
Since you can't carry on liquids, such as shampoo, toothpaste, perfume, etc. Have to check a bag. But even though direct flight, I wanted to make sure I had the necessary things to change into, dress, hairpiece (updo, thank God for that) shoes, purse, wrap. (Editor's note: It is terrifying to witness the full array of feminine battle equipment, laid out for packing. I ran screaming from the room)
What actually happened? We wake up Sat. am early. Get call from airlines, flight delayed 40 min. Go back to bed for 20 min. Get up, have tea, shower, finish packing. Had most done night before. (Ed: Three suitcases! One night, three suitcases!)
A friend of Michael's (Ed: Neanderbill!) is traveling with us. Get to airport. No problems. On the runway getting ready to take off, I start to doze off and all of a sudden I get this image in my head. My dress still hanging on closet door. I told Michael, I think I forgot my dress. He said, no you didn’t. (Ed: she forgets NOTHING. She never forgets). Get to Chicago, check luggage, no dress. That's right, I had forgotten my dress!!!! I didn't even have a nice pair of pants to wear, brought jeans. (Ed: It was only one night. Makes sense not to bring other clothes. Still hard to know what was in the three suitcases, though)
Figured I'd stay at hotel. Michael and Neanderbill could go to wedding, and maybe I could find something in between wedding and reception, which didn't start until 5:00.
Get to Chicago. Called hotel, they told me there was a big mall 10 minutes from hotel. Sounds good. Michael is Hertz Gold member, car rental should be ready, no paperwork.
Nope, not ready. Person in front of us taking sweet time deciding whether to upgrade or not. (Ed: she exaggerates not. The guy was actually saying out loud, "Do I want the SUV, or the minivan? $20....SUV...minivan?" I wanted to beat him). Another 20 precious minutes lost.
On way to hotel. Railroad crossing. Longest and slowest train ever. Another 10-15 minutes lost. (If car had been ready, would not have hit the train crossing). (Ed: Neanderbill pointed out this nonlinearity: "Gosh, if we hadn't gotten held up at Hertz, we would have missed this train, too!" The train was going slow enough you could safely have crawled under it, between the wheels, without getting hit. I suggested Neanderbill might want to try that, just to see).
Get to hotel. It's about 12:15 now. (Ed: Remember, wedding is at 2 pm, and we don't know exactly where it is). Nice receptionist wrote out directions to mall while we went up and got freshened up. Had jeans on, sneakers, pearl necklace and earrings (pearl bracelet broke when getting dressed) and my hairpiece, again so thankful I had that (and I had originally thought I would have time to hair done at the hotel, huh) Michael all dressed up in suit. Carried empty backpack so I could put in clothes and took the shoes, purse, wrap.
Get to mall. Have about 30 min to find a dress. Mall is huge. Tried Lord & Taylor. Ran in, told clerk situation. Showed me all kinds of dresses, just not me. Some awful ugly, can't believe people wear them. Did find one I kind of liked, black lace like. Clerk was nice enough to point out price, $585.00. I didn't pay that much for my wedding dress (although that was 21 years ago!) (Ed: JEEZE! I didn't even know this. Dodged a bullet there...)
Decided to try another store. Nordstrom. Again told clerk story. Found a couple to try on. Had been looking for something in a solid color, simple, but shapely. Most good colors gone, they have out fall colors, boring. Found a sleeveless dress, black and I didn't really want to wear black to a wedding. But it had taffeta and the bottom was like a ballerina dress. Shirred waist, very flattering. At first, did not go with the bra I had. Did not have time to find new bra. Took bra off. (Ed: !!)
Thankfully, everything fit ok, nothing showing. Through clothes in my bag (still had on old white sneakers, with tall white socks), walked out of dressing room, asked clerk if I could pay for it and walk out in it. She snipped off price tag. Couple of women looking, complimented the dress and my hair (told them it was piece). One of them said I looked like a ballerina. But they asked about my shoes, told them I had them in the car. Then ran to jewelry section and bought faux pearl bracelet. Again, snipped off tag and wore out.
Running out in mall in black dress and sneakers, trying to find way out. Michael and friend were at a restaurant having a drink (non alcoholic so far). Finally found them. Have about 45 min. Church is supposed to be about 30 min. Missed exit. (Ed: we were using wrong directions. My fault. But I blame Neanderbill). Went out of way and had to do U turn. Get to the church 5 minutes before wedding.
Very nice ceremony. Go back to hotel and nap. To reception. Many compliments on dress. Told story.
Interesting, gender-specific reactions to story. Nearly all men thought I had deliberately left dress behind so I could buy a new one.
They are crazy. No one wants to have to find a dress in 30 min. No women thought that.
But dress was great for the swing dances. We danced the night away. Had floor to ourselves sometimes. Now I have new favorite store. Nordstroms. Been looking on line at all kinds of pretty dresses, may get out to South Point next weekend. (Ed: AAAAARGH! SHOOT ME! Though, I have to admit, an outstanding dress. She looked incredible.)