Florida Man

If the headline starts with "Florida Man," even after a colon, it's going to be good.

Assault With a Deadly Weapon: Florida Man Charged with Trowing Live Alligator into Wendys

Pure gold:

The driver, wearing a backwards baseball hat, arrived at the drive-through window to receive a large drink just before 1:30 a.m. on Oct. 11, according to the report’s summary of surveillance footage.

“While the attendant has her back to the window and is at her register, the male driver reaches across the inside of his vehicle in the passenger area and throws an alligator from his vehicle into the drive through window,” the report reads.  

"Wearing a backwards baseball hat."  The redneck version of "He was wearing a hoodie."

If you like "Florida Man," well, then....

Headlines from Florida

The woman didn't know she was pregnant.

And the baby weighed 14 pounds.

Speculate about the set of things that would have to be true for those facts to go together.

But both appear to be healthy, and that's the main thing!  As always, so proud of Florida.

Deerfield Beach

An "urban legend" is when there is this "fact" which, on examination, turns out not really to have a source.  People who at first assert the "fact" with great confidence, as if they themselves saw, experienced, or heard the thing, quickly back off, and admit it was a FOAF, or a cousin's friend's hairdresser.

So, hearing we were visiting Deerfield Beach, three people told us to check out a GREAT restaurant, The Whale's Rib.  On the menu, on the website, and pretty much everywhere there is a flat surface, TWR reminds you that Guy Fieri visited for "Triple D."

And the reviews are pretty good, overall.

Stil, when pressed, our recommenders backed off a bit.  "Well, I'm not saying it's great.  But other people like it.  People...I....know.....from somewhere, I'm not really sure."

So, we tried it.  Got there a little later than we intended, and there was a long line.  (Violating one of Tyler's key rules, about lines....Plus some more rules, if you want)  Still, we thought we would wait.  Even though, as Tyler said, "Places with lines can be quite good.  But when they fall, they fall hard."

Some actual facts, as opposed to "facts".

1.  We were told the wait would be 30 minutes.  The actual wait was 50 minutes, and the reason was that "We had to seat a party of 25 ahead of you."  Did you, now?  It was just a fib.

2.  They have stone crab on the menu.  That's the reason I went.  I really like fresh stone crab.  But the waitress said that there was no stone crab.  Even though the menu said they DO have stone crab, until May 15.  This was April 26, mind you.  The reason was that "All we have is frozen, and we don't serve frozen fish!"  Don't you, now?  It was just a fib.

3.  So I ordered the oysters Rockefeller.  $12 for six anemic oysters that had been allowed to get cold.  Tiny little useless lumps.  Given that oysters Rockeller stays hot for a really long time, it required a bit of effort to leave these on the counter instead of serving them.

Okay, three strikes.  However.....

4.  I also ordered the rock shrimp.  The rock shrimp were room remperature, and the drawn butter was room temperature.  But the rock shrimp were so rockin' wonderful it really didn't matter.  Top five seafood dish, all time, even with the problems.  I mean, seriously, fantastic.  Just wonderful. Perfectly cooked.

5.  The LMM had blackened tilapia.  It was also just warmer than room temp, but it was very tasty.  In fact, very VERY tasty according to the LMM.

6.  They serve water, if you ask for it, in a medium size plastic pitcher with a straw.  I suggest that this innovation is AMAZING.  You don't have to keep asking for water, and the ice actually melts so that they are not constantly pouring 2 tablespoons of water on top of pure ice.

Overall, and given that it was Saturday night in a tourist area, I'd say this is a "B."  Not very good, but probably pretty much what it aspires to be.  And my understanding from a FOAF is that the grilled or fried mahi is worth the trip  also.  It's a "fact."

Rational Voting: R=PB-C+D

Well, I think even Angus will have to admit that voting is rational, under THESE circumstances, from my hometown of Orlando, FL.

If the alternative is that your wife will chase you in the car, and run you over for his "lack of voter participation."  She gave it to him right in the ol' "C" term, good and hard.

Check out her mug shot.  I would have done WHATEVER that wife told me.  But then, now that I think of it, I already do whatever my wife tells me.

Thanks to Tommy the Tenured Brit...

If Demand is Too High....Charge LESS!

Some innovative thinking from Florida, on higher education.

We'll subsidize the degrees that people already want by charging lower tuition, and tax the degrees that are not popular by charging higher tuition.

Or, is it that employers want people with these degrees, but students don't want those degrees?  They prefer useless degrees, and the state is trying to use Pigouvian taxes to get people to want what the state wants them to want?

Either way, I had not heard of price discrimination on tuition, based on the opposite of desirability of the degree.

With thanks to Chateau...

Police Brutality, or Angry Mom?

Boy meets girl.  Girl invites boy home to her house, because parents are out.  The kids get busy.

Mom comes home early.  Nekkid Boy hides in closet. 

Mom is a cop, mom pulls gun, handcuffs Nekkid Boy.  (This sounds like a great premise for a porn movie, by the way! Cop Mom plus daughter on handcuffed Nekkid Boy action.)

But, no.  Instead, extremely angry Cop Mom tries to get handcuffed Nekkid Boy charged with forcible entry (of the house, of the house).

Not surprisingly, supervisors say that since the boy was invited by the daughter, this is not (in any sense) forcible entry.

Boy, no longer Nekkid, sues Cop Mom.

Judge, using repeated references to Jim Croce, says that the Cop Mom was reacting as a Mom, not a Cop.  Seriously, you can read about it here.  They even have a link to the decision itself.  Excerpt:

"Collier was an angry parent who happened to be in uniform, have handcuffs and a firearm, which she used for the private ends of scaring a young man she caught in bed with her daughter," Judge Carnes found.

"Although Collier did use the pistol that she wore as an officer, any adult without a felony record can lawfully possess a firearm (and tens of millions do)," the judge added.

"If the allegations are true, Collier's treatment of Butler was badder than old King Kong and meaner than a junkyard dog," Carnes wrote, returning to Croce's lyrics. "She might even have acted like the meanest hunk of woman anybody had ever seen. Still, the fact that the mistreatment was mean does not mean that the mistreatment was under color of law."

Only in Florida, folks!

(With thanks to Angry Alex.  And, to be fair, I think this could have happened in Missouri, also)

So, It was Crack Cocaine?

Actual Central Florida Headline:

Man eats cocaine in brother's butt, dies


Police: Man trying to hide drug evidence in squad car

You could read the rest of the story, but frankly there's not much more to tell.

(Nod to Jackie Blue, who misses Florida....not so much)

Florida: Home of Bestiality and Butt Cracks

Oh, golly. I was going to do this as "Not the Onion," but what's the point? The Florida legislature, facing a variety of problems with the budget, immigration, and education, have decided to solve the two most pressing problems. I am absolutely not making this up. These are both actual, frequently observerd problems in Florida. Check the story:

1. Also passed by the House and Senate Wednesday is the so-called "droopy drawers bill" (SB 228), will will force students to hike up their pants while at school.

Students caught showing their underwear or butt crack could face suspensions and other punishments.

and...

2. Bestiality: The bestiality bill (SB 344) bans sexual activity between humans and animals and has been championed for years by Sen. Nan Rich, from Sunrise.

Rich took up the anti-bestiality fight after a number of cases involving sexual activity with animals in recent years, including a Panhandle man who was suspected of accidentally asphyxiating a family goat during a sex act and the abuse of a horse in the Keys. The bill would make such acts a first-degree misdemeanor.

You might want to watch this again:


I don't have a bestiality video to show you. Sorry.

Markets in everything: piscine edition

Turns out you cant pay to have fish eat the dead skin on your feet, at least in some states (sorry Texas and Florida).

Yikes!!

Full story is here.

weekend roundup

People, I do not enjoy college basketball (mostly because the level of play is so incredibly bad), but I am mesmerized by the Mungowitz - Obama Bracket Shootout described in the post below this one.

Go Mungo!!!

While we wait to see what happens in round two, I suggest checking out a couple websites.

1. the blog of the TOTUS (teleprompter of the United States). Yes Obama's ubiquitous teleprompter now has it's own blog (hat tip to Peggy Noonan's WSJ column this morning).

2. F my life. English language spinoff of the French Vie de Merde. Sample entry:

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there.

F my life indeed.

Movie Closure

This weekend was the Oscars (I know, horrible grammer, eh?) AND also I finally saw the last two movies I projected would be in my top 10. They were Frozen River and Happy Go Lucky. Frozen River was terrific. Melissa Leo nailed her role as did the kids playing her kids and the actress playing Leila. Well done all around. Not exactly a feel-good movie, but excellent.

Happy Go Lucky was just alright. I was expecting a lot because I really like Mike Leigh, but this was, for him, just about average. If anyone out there has seen this film, do you have any explanation for the weird scenes in the middle where Poppy is first strolling alone through a sunny meadow and then out at night with a deranged homeless guy? To me they were complete non sequitors.

I wouldn't be Angus if I also didn't take this opportunity to point out to my pal Mungowitz that his "disappointment" and my top movie of the year, Slumdog Millionare won 8 Oscars. I got your "objective verification" right here, bro!

A Williams sweep

Serena Williams won the Australian Open this morning, crushing Little Marat in less than an hour, love and three. This is her 10th major singles title. The day before, she and Venus won the doubles, their 8th major doubles title together.

Let's see, am I forgetting anything? Oh, yeah, Serena, at 27, is once again the number one player in the world and halfway to another "Serena Slam".

What kind of bloggers are we?

According to Typealyzer, we are Mechanics (for a point of contrast, N.G. Mankiw is rated a Scientist). Here's the details:

ISTP - The Mechanics

"The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts."
"The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters."

I am not sure who between Mungowitz or I "often avoid inter-personal conflicts", and we most certainly are not cop or fireman material, but all in all, pretty accurate. The closest I come to risk is playing poker and traveling to semi-exotic places (Madagascar, Cambodia, Borneo, Rwanda, Tunisia, Oklahoma...).

Guest Blogger: Larry King

You know who would make a good president? Ben Roethlisberger. Is it just me or is Barack Obama putting on weight? I think Hank Paulson is doing a bang up job at Treasury, just look how the stock market is responding to the passage of his plan! The Oklahoma City Thunder is a franchise name for the ages. Isn't it impressive how everyone in the Congress is working together to solve our problems?



Mungowitz, you better get busy or tomorrow's guest blogger will be Dear Abby!!!

Cavaliers step in a big pile of Dooky

Wow. OU will be #1 and the Big 12 will probably have 3 teams in the top 5 in the next polls and Michigan beat a top 10 opponent but the big, big story in college football is that the Duke Blue Devils beat UVA snapping a 25 game conference losing streak and running their record to 3-1.

Congratulations Mungo!

Whiiiiiiiz-aaahrd!

Fla. Teacher Accused Of Wizardry
Man Made Toothpick Vanish In Class

Teacher Jim Piculas does a magic trick where a toothpick disappears and then reappears.

Piculas recently did the 30-second trick in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes. Piculas said he then got a call from the supervisor of teachers, saying he'd been accused of wizardry.

"I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue, you can't take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'" he said. Piculas said he did not know of any other accusations that would have led to the action.

The teacher said he is concerned that the incident may prevent him from getting future jobs.

Um.....a wizard? Will they use the "wood / duck" test, from Monte Python?


(Nod to JK, a wizard himself)