Please step away from the tomato, ma'am.....
This story from England.
"I wondered what on earth was going on. I opened the door and they more or less barged past, saying that I was growing cannabis on the windowsills.
"I started laughing because I knew they were tomato plants but it wasn't so funny when they frisked me and then started tearing the house apart."
Mr Matheson said he was held in the bedroom while officers searched the furniture and under the mattress..."They even 'arrested' Zac, our black labrador, and Moby, our Jack Russell, putting them in the back of one of the cop cars," Mr Matheson added.
"And I just couldn't believe it when they brought sniffer dogs all the way from Alness, which is about two hours away."
He went on: "Despite leaving with their tails between their legs, the police didn't even apologise."
Mr Matheson, a keen gardener, grows tomatoes in the south-facing bedroom window.
He said: "We always enjoy having a juicy home-grown tomato with our dinner and I've had fine crops this year."
Mr Matheson is now making a formal complaint to Northern Constabulary.
A police spokesman said: "We can confirm that, acting on information, we attended at an address in the Shieldaig area.
"No drugs were found as a result of the search."
Acting on "information"? What possible information could Deputy Fife have been acting on? Here is useful information, Barney:
(A note, to the police: I did NOT take that picture of a tomato plant. I have no idea where it came from. So, please don't search my house for tomatoes. I don't have any. And when I use tomatoes, it's just social. I don't inhale, ever.)