Sunday, February 07, 2010

Corruption: Munger Investigated!

I feel SO SPECIAL. My campaign for governor is being investigated by a special inquiry of the State Board of Elections. I have FINALLY arrived as a real politician.

Governor "I am Easley the most corrupt governor in NC history" has decided to offer a defense to the charge that he routinely accepted illegal, unreported free private air travel as if it were a perq of office. And having the Highway Patrol "lose" the records of sending troopers to accompany Easley on these secret trips.

Here is an interesting video on the lead-up, and the charges against Ruffin Poole, head thug in charge for the Easley admin.

My main man, Don Carrington, was the one who broke, and has followed, the "Air Easley" story.

So, Easley's defense? Three Republican goob candidates did it, too! (My mom: "If someone else accepts illegal air travel, you would do it, too?" Or something like that).

Anyway, the state board of elections sent me a letter, on real letterhead, with a signature from an actual person, demanding all my campaign travel records! I am suspected of having received illegal contributions of air travel, on private jets!


I'm already planning for my perp walk video. What goes better with steel handcuffs, the grey pinstripe, or the dark charcoal, suit?

Except... that I don't have friends who have private jets. Not all of my friends have private cars. Every bit of travel for the campaign was in my OWN car, and I paid for my own gas.

Still, it is flattering to think that a Libertarian candidate might be the target of bribes from corporations. Implausible, since my platform was to END the payoffs and corporate welfare that those blood-sucking, rent-seeking leeches depend on. But flattering nonetheless.

10 comments:

Michael said...

I'd go with the netjets windbreaker.

BR said...

Does this mean you could be governor, if the other two candidates are found guilty?

Anonymous said...

Do limos count?

SB7 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SB7 said...

Have they seen that jolly-roger rig you were riding around Germany in? Does that look like something a guy with access to Cessnas would be seen in the same neighborhood as?

Martin said...

For a train ride to Nuernberg, Mungowitz would not even borrow my monthly train ticket ("Mobi Card"), even though it would have been completely legal. Just because he could not read the German rules on my ticket. At least, this is what he stated. Made me suspicious from the first moment on. I should make the Deutsche Bahn write one of those letters, too. We'll get you and drag you back to some German cellar!

John said...

The only proper response to a demand for information like this is "Fuck you, get a subpoena". It would be an opportunity to 1) make them go to a lot more trouble and 2) make the public aware that you don't have to hop to it whenever some bureaucrat makes an unreasonable demand.

Eric H said...

Wait a second--limo-driver to the econ gods can't get a private jet?

I thought for sure Roberts flew you in on his Gulfstream for the cameo.

So much for the idea that economists have connections! :)

Anonymous said...

If one of your aides turns up a sextape with Rielle, I'm gonna write you off as an unoriginal copy cat.
-zimaroll

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