Monday, October 31, 2011

World Series Thoughts

video
A video I took before the game started, in Dallas. Back when Texas had a team in the world series. Before they lost to the Cardinals, I mean. My team. We won.

The trip back last Monday was a little tough. (I had to give, and grade, 180 midterms for two different classes. Just now getting caught up...) Fine to Atlanta. Upgraded to first class, on time. Had a scotch, finished reading BOOMERANG. Nice.

But Flight ATL to RDU delayed, after boarding, because of mechanical difficulties involving wing. No complaints, I want the wings to work. But we sat for 55 mins at gate. I was in middle seat in coach (let me say again: MIDDLE seat in COACH). Guy on my right weighed 450 pounds, at least. His giant ass was almost parted down the middle when he tried to sit down and the armrest was down. Of course he wanted to raise the armrest, which I resisted. If you give a giant fat guy Sudetenland, he always wants the rest of Czechoslovakia.

But the stewardess said we had to raise the armrest. They got him an extender for the seatbelt, a good 12 inches, but the seatbelt still wouldn't buckle. (Seriously, the man was big). They got him an 18 inch extender, and it buckled.

So did I: got to sit under this guy's left butt cheek for 55 mins at the gate, and then for an hour flight. Guy on my left let me scoot over onto his seat a little, but my own ass is none too small (though it does fit between the armrests, and inside a standard seatbelt, without any problem). Pretty miserable.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you make a big stink about it? If you had, what do you think they would have done?

Anonymous said...

Tommy the OneWorld Brit doesn't get it. If you have enough miles to get free upgrades, doesn't the miles program on Sky let you choose seats in coach?

Anonymous said...

I did not say anything, no, after my initial attempt to control the border at the armrest.

And, Tommy, it was the last seat available. The choice was go / not go. Normally, it's a 50 minute flight, and *I* am the one who people eye as spreading out over a seat. This guy was just unusual.

MM

Anonymous said...

" I was in middle seat in coach (let me say again: MIDDLE seat in COACH). Guy on my right weighed 450 pounds, at least. His giant ass was almost parted down the middle when he tried to sit down and the armrest was down. Of course he wanted to raise the armrest, which I resisted. If you give a giant fat guy Sudetenland, he always wants the rest of Czechoslovakia. "

OMG - This is effffing hilarious. Get another job - write for Seinfeld. Oh yeah, they're done; go write for Larry David.

BTW - my word verification to post this comment was "fative." How fatting. Ooops, I mean fitting.

Anonymous said...

I wish all airlines would make these morbidly obese people buy two seats so they wouldn't end up sitting all over their nearest passengers.

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