Wednesday, January 16, 2013

The Culture that is Germany: "Why he threw a puppy at the Hell's Angels isn't clear"

In our "Not the Onion" tradition, a little story of a young man who had a bad day.  I submit that the sentence underlined below is the single greatest sentence has appeared in a new story since...ever.

A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.

The man drove up to a Hell's Angels clubhouse near Munich, wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a puppy.  He dropped his shorts and threw the dog at the Hell's Angels, escaping on a bulldozer from a nearby building site.

He was arrested later at home by police. The 26-year-old is said to have stopped taking depression medication.

After making his getaway on the bulldozer, he had driven so slowly that a 5km tailback built up behind him on the motorway.  After driving about 1km, he had abandoned the bulldozer in the middle of the motorway, near Allershausen. He continued his journey by hitchhiking.

"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear,"  a police spokesman said.  The puppy is now being cared for in an animal shelter.

To be fair, this does give some credence to the German practice of gun control. If psychopaths are reduced to throwing puppies instead of spraying lead...maybe a good thing.  Still, when puppies are outlawed only outlaws will have puppies.


Unknown said...

Wow. This made my day; now I can spend the next 12 or so hours believing that life in Europe is really just an extended Monty Python sketch.

Thank you, so much.

MaxSpeak said...

Use a puppy, go to jail.

TimmyD said...

So, a crazy person with a fetish for flinging puppies exposed himself and then hopped on a bulldozer and was able to escape a beat down from a group synonymous for being violent, overly aggressive and riding souped-up motor cycles???

Obviously, the expansion of Hell's Angels into Europe created more dilution of talent than the expansion of major league baseball to 30 teams.