Thursday, November 20, 2008

Make a Little Difference My Big Ol' Butt

Oh, please.

Quite amusing, if it weren't so idiotic.

"A basket of fruit flown in from oversees emits more CO2 than an average family uses for cooking in six months."

Um...what? We have an electric stove. And we don't cook fruit, anyway. And it takes more fertilizer and energy to grow local than to ship apples in from Chile. How do I know this, know this for SURE? It's because apples from Chile are cheaper.

Next problem.

(Nod to EconTalk Fan)


Dr. Richard Scott Nokes said...

No, no, no, you are reading it wrong. It clearly says basket of fruit flown in from "oversees[sic]," not "overseas."

You see, the People's Democratic Republic of Oversees, led by His Imperial Overseer, has many fine exports, but their main export is fruitbaskets made from a special CO2 emitting material. They aren't saying that the fruit or the flight emits the CO2 -- from the grammar of the sentence, it's clear that the basket is emitting the CO2. "Basket" is the subject of the sentence, after all, going with the verb "emits."

Also, it isn't the amount of CO2 the average family uses IN cooking OVER six months, but FOR cooking FOR six months. In the Democratic People's Republic of Oversees, their national dishes take more than six months to simmer on CO2-fueled fires. Yes, six months is a long time to cook a meal, but only slow-cooking can really bring out that flavor.

Why do they cook with CO2, you ask? Well, because they produce so many CO2 emitting fruitbaskets that CO2 is cheap and plentiful.

In other words, the writer of the sentence is trying to get us to live more like the people of Oversees, producing CO2 cheaply from fruitbaskets, and then recycling that CO2 in our cooking. Your use of an electric stove and refusal to cook fruit is completely environmentally irresponsible.


Mungowitz said...

Now, see?

THAT's an explanation I can understand. In a place where an environmentalist elite "oversees" our activities, all the arguments made in the link actually follow.

I do hope that the good Dr. Nokes will explain the financial crisis with similar lucidity. (the good Dr. Nokes is differentiated, as he himself has noted, from the BAD Dr. Nokes, his leftist doppelganger)

Michael said...

I put two Karl Marx books in my fridge. Thanks for the tip.