Zombie Apocalypse: The Warning

A solid prank.  Problem:  You will want pancakes.

The video:

Nod to Angry Alex

Elevator Prank

Sometimes I see pranks that would work on me.  The sort of stuff Ashton Kutcher did, in "Punk'd," for example.

But this?  I would be startled, for sure.  But I would laugh and say, "Now how did you get in here?"  Because otherwise it's an actual ghost.  And that seems unlikely.

Still, quite amusing to see the reactions.  And I'm afraid that if this happened to the LMM there would be loud noises...



With thanks to @BillLumaye

Free Falling

Cute prank.  Interesting that it worked; the monitors must in fact be pretty good.


Nod to Angry Alex

Chilipunk'd! Journal Edition

So, I get this email....

Dear Prof Munger,

Please find attached an article that has just been published in Politics, one of the flagship journals of the UK Political Studies Association. Politics seeks to publish timely, research-led reflections on the start of the art, the state of the world, and the state of disciplinary pedagogy.

After consulting with the author, we identified you as one of the key experts in this particular field. Therefore we felt that you might like to see the article, entitled The Incumbency Advantage in the US Congress: A Roller-Coaster Relationship, as soon as it was published.

We hope it is of interest. Please get in touch if you have any questions, and do consider Politics as an outlet for your own research in future.

Best,  Dr Martin Coward

Editor, POLITICS

Senior Lecturer, Department of Politics

Newcastle University

(Attached:  PDF of paper)

 

And I'm thinking, okay, finally I get the respect I am due in this world.  I have published several papers on incumbency advantage, and the effects of incumbency on campaign contributions.  So, cool.

 

I look at the paper, and it never cites me.  Now, that's fine, too.  My papers on incumbency advantage are deservedly obscure, perhaps.  Fair enough.  A paper is published that doesn't cite me, no complaints.

 

Here's my question:  Why BOTH?  Why would someone single out a scholar, in another country, to receive a special copy of a paper that deals with a topic in which I'm a "key expert," and not cite that "key expert's" own work?  The only possible effect is to piss off the "key expert."  Why contact someone whose work is relevant, when you clearly don't really think the work is relevant?

 

Or, I guess, another possible effect is to cause the KE to write sarcastic blog posts about the whole thing...

Okay, NOW You Can Kill Eagles (But Not Bats), To Show You Love Gaia

So, if all you are doing is building a factory that will create hundreds of jobs, and produce something people want to buy, you will be blocked by the Endangered Species Act. In fact, you may even have to close an existing golf course, because the nice froggies might not like it.

But if you want to build a "wind farm," which actually is a net loss of energy (counting the costs of construction and decommissioning), and produces almost zero jobs, then the feds will happily WAIVE the ESA. Kill all the eagles you want! (But not bats, apparently. Interesting.)

Now, in my view, the ESA is a death sentence, a stupid law that kills more creatures than it saves, by far. But still, if you believe the ESA works, why suspend it for such a marginal "industry" as wind?

Unless of course the whole thing is fake and all you really care about is the costly signal of worshipping Gaia, the Earth Mother? In that case, building an idiotic temple of wind and sacrificing eagles to Gaia actually count twice. We worship you, Gaia! And higher costs mean we love you more! Abraham was only willing to sacrifice his son. WE are willing to sacrifice eagles!

(Nod to the Blonde)

Heh. WRK strikes back

On being forced to volunteer, and then being interrogated on why he "wants to be around other people's children.

Nicely played, sir. Nicely played.

Nando's Chicken Commercial

I think this commercial is pretty funny....

Which almost certainly means it is inappropriate.  Does it make you HUNGRY?

The wisdom of the American businessman

People, did you know that California was bankrupt? Me neither.

Did you know that the Chinese government "manages its economy with incredible care"? Me neither.

Do you know that the US really needs to make some cool five year plans like China (and the Soviet Union, and North Korea and Cuba)? Me neither.

That is, I didn't know any of these gems until I read Robert J. Herbold's Op Ed in today's WSJ, which is titled "China vs. America: Which is the Developing Country?" (I am not making any of this up).

Here is a link to the article and let me highly recommend it as a fun way to start your day.

If I understood how to do it, this would be a great "grand game" opportunity.

If at first you don't succeed....

bail, bail again!

Looks like some "soft" haircuts will be included in "Grease II", the amazingly cheesy codename for the second round of EU bailouts for Greece.

They won't call it a default, and they'll probably try to make sure that whatever happens doesn't trigger default events in outstanding CDS contracts, but (a) it's a default, and (b) it won't be enough this time either.

I don't understand why the PIG countries just don't flat out default and be done with it. They are destroying their economies for the sake of German and French bankers.

Mother Superior jumped the gun

Wow. Huge article in today's WSJ by Yale Law professor Amy Chua (of World on Fire "fame") called, "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior". Should have been titled "I am a raging, abusive, racist, a-hole".

It's terrific to read the whole thing. You think it can't get any worse and then it does.

Here's a lovely vignette involving her masochistic husband, Jed and daughter Lulu, that followed Lulu's inability to play a certain piece of music on the piano:

Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful. Also, he said, maybe Lulu really just couldn't do the technique—perhaps she didn't have the coordination yet—had I considered that possibility?

"You just don't believe in her," I accused.

"That's ridiculous," Jed said scornfully. "Of course I do."

"Sophia could play the piece when she was this age."

"But Lulu and Sophia are different people," Jed pointed out.

"Oh no, not this," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone is special in their special own way," I mimicked sarcastically. "Even losers are special in their own special way. Well don't worry, you don't have to lift a finger. I'm willing to put in as long as it takes, and I'm happy to be the one hated. And you can be the one they adore because you make them pancakes and take them to Yankees games."

I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom.

Holy Crap!

Come on Eileen!

Let me begin by saying that I'm not a Republican and I've never voted. What I am on record as supporting is gridlock. And I love the theatre of the absurd that our political discourse has become. 

Naturally then, I am all a-tingle in front of the surreal possibility that the Democrats could actually lose Ted Kennedy's Senate seat.

I am sure those political geniuses Reid and Pelosi have contingency plans to get their extremely popular political agenda passed if they lose their 60th vote, but I don't think they can do it without sometime taking another vote of some type and I am wondering how many rank and file legislators would reconsider their previous votes in light of current trends.

Could it be like the 1994 midterm elections a year early? A boy can dream, can't he?

Chilipunk'd in Honduras

Wow, it appears that Marvelous Mel Zelaya has once again gotten outfoxed by the Micheletti folks (the first time being when they loaded him up on a plane and shipped him out of the country). 

Last Friday, there was a supposed deal between the two sides to form a unity government and have the Congress vote on whether or not Zelaya would be allowed to serve out the rest of his term.

Apparently lost on the Zelaya team was the fact that while there was a deadline for forming the new government (yesterday), there was no deadline for taking the vote and the Congress was not a signatory to the deal.

Plus, it appears that the Obama administration now considers the signing of the agreement to be sufficient for recognizing the winner of the election scheduled for later this month as legitimate, rather than the re-instatement of Zelaya as was previously thought.

If true, that was actually a slick move by the US, allowing them to keep the status quo more or less in place while seeming to be against allowing the status quo to stay in place.

One thing is for sure here; Zelaya is a dope, who is still stuck inside the Brazilian embassy.

 

ChiliPunk'd?

Is is just me, or did Mr. Karzai totally chilipunk Obama? He loads up his government with bad guys as part of his re-election strategy, engages in sufficient electoral fraud that the US "forces" him to recant his majority win and agree to a runoff, then his opponent in the runoff drops out, Karzai is President again anyway, and our political masters now seem A-OK with this outcome.

Do y'all think Barack even got the license plate of that bus?

Cruel but usual punishment

Ah Reuters, you know what I want and you always deliver:

A Sicilian builder transferred from prison to house arrest tried to get himself locked up again to escape arguments with his wife at home, Italian media reported Thursday.

Santo Gambino, 30, did time for dumping hazardous waste before being moved to house arrest in Villabate, outside the Sicilian capital, Palermo, Italian news agencies reported.

Gambino went to the police station and asked to be put away again to avoid arguing with his wife, who accused him of failing to pay for the upkeep of their two children.

Police charged him with violating the conditions of his sentence and made him go home and patch things up with his wife.

Man those cops are brutal! Sending him back to his wife after she knows that he went to them and asked for jail? Better keep your nose clean while visiting Sicily.

Going Galt? or A great idea!

Over at MR, Alex T. bemoans the government's plan to slash executive wages at the 7 "most bailed out" companies. I respectfully disagree. These are State owned enterprises now and having an expert decide if the public is getting its moneys worth is entirely reasonable.

If fact, I think this is a trend well worth expanding in dealing with pay for people who are publicly funded.

I would be happy to serve as a "special master" to evaluate pay relative to performance at a lot of other publicly funded enterprises like say, Congress, the SEC, the Federal Reserve, Fannie and Freddie, the EPA, the Treasury and (just to be mean spirited) the office of the Vice President.

As to how I would rule in these cases, let's just say that Santa would be able to save on reindeer food because he wouldn't be coming to the DC area this year.

And yes, I do realize that I teach at a State University. Thanks in advance for reminding me.

Ruler of the Waves

Knut the great was just kidding when he commanded the tide not to come in (or maybe he was just quick witted enough to save face?), but Yury Luzhkov apparently did not get the memo that only the man upstairs can control the weather.

Fresh from his ill starred attempt to reverse the flow of a Siberian river for "irrigation purposes", the Mayor of Moscow has guaranteed that it will not snow in Moscow this winter.

His plan is to have the Russian airforce chemically seed the snow clouds causing them to dump their load outside the city limits. All winter long.

Besides the intrinsic gut feeling of not-a-good-idea-ness, there are other objections to the plan:

"So far the main objection to the plan has come from Moscow's suburbs, which will likely be inundated with snow if the plan goes forward."

Maybe the airforce can just open the whole thing up for bids.

New Wife Writes to Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.3 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly before. The difference is especially noticeable after I had such good performance after Boyfriend 5.2 crashed and I upgraded to Boyfriend 5.3. (Boyfriend 5.2 and Boyfriend 5.2a were buggy and annoying, but after I ran the U&UrHand2Nite 6.1 add-on then Boyfriend 5.3 was apologetic, attentive, and obedient).

Even worse, installing Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs that had been working well. These included Romance 9.5, Conversation 31.6, and Personal Attention 6.5. Further, and worst of all, Husband 1.0 came bundled with a bunch of undesirable shareware, including WEATHER 5.0, MONEY 3.0, COMPUTER PORN 2.0, and SPORTSCENTER 24.7.

The truth is that WeNeedToTalk 8.0 no longer runs at all, PickUpYourWetTowel 31.6 just hangs, and Housecleaning 2.6 totally crashes the system to a bluescreen.

Please note that I have tried running NAGON 5.3, and DenySex 6.9 (which comes as freeware with WIFE 1.0) to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do? Now that Husband 1.0 has been opened, the Best Buy says I can't return it. And I can't the operating manual anywhere.

Signed, New Wife

The Culture that is Germany IV

From Reuters:

"German Police had to rescue a 20-year-old man from a train station suitcase locker after he shut himself in for fun and began to suffocate.

After a night out drinking with friends, squeezing into the locker had seemed like an amusing idea to the man, police in the southwestern city of Ludwigshafen said Friday.

But the laughter faded when he started to run out of oxygen and his companions couldn't open the locker. Police broke open the door and dragged the groggy man to safety."

I guess this just points out the fabulous quality of German public lockers: totally airtight!!

Derailed, and a Wonderful Bar-B-Q

It all sounded so simple. Take the DBahn to Nuremberg, switch trains, take a nice regional express to Regensburg, a beautiful and ancient city. Walk around and see the sights until 3:30 pm, and then get picked up to go to a very fine Bayerische barbq at the nearby country home of one of the Department’s Lehrstuhls, or head professors.

Well, those plans gang aft agley, don’t they.

I get to the Erlangen Bahnhof at 8:45 for a 9:08 train to Nuremberg. (I can’t help it, I have this time thing: I hate to be late). Cloudy, cold, about 10 degrees C. It turns out that on the same platform, leaving at 8:58, there is a train....to Nuremburg! So, I take it. I only have a short connection in Nuremberg to catch my train to Regensburg, and my experience with connections less than 20 minutes has not been good. Meaning earlier is better.

Train takes off, and since it is a Regional Express it doesn’t stop every kilometer, but makes good time. But, as we are pulling up to Fürth, the conductor starts this long announcement. Except that this is not a bored voice announcement. I could make out a few words, and they were not happy-making words. “U-bahn” means subway. And “nuen uhr achtundzwanzig” means that I am going to miss my train. Construction, wreck, system management with their thumbs up their bums, SOMETHING means that our train is going to stop, we are going to have to get off, and we are on our own.

We stop in Fürth, and the entire train, many people with suitcases, hustle down to the subway platform (half a kilometer walk, at least, from the platform). Many people running. Old people doing their best not to fall down. And we all get there...and wait 12 minutes (I measured). No subways in the direction of the train station. Two trains come by heading the other direction.

So, the train does show up at 9:31, and I look at the map. The Nuremberg Bahnhof is ....TEN stops away. And we are packed in like sardines. Who knew that the Ubahn was so crowded at 9:30 am on a Saturday? A lot of this was overflow from “Mistah Kurtz’s train, it dead,” I understand, but people were still trying to get on at every station.

One poor guy tries to get off to let some people behind him off, because he had a big suitcase. Steps off the train, people get off the train, and of course the army of autistics waiting to get ON the train just push past him. Poor guy tries to get back on, but there is really not much room. He did what Angus would have done, and use the suitcase as a battering ram. That got him halfway in, but then the doors close on his arms. He tries to pull back, but the doors close again....on the suitcase....and he drops it back into the train! Doors close, he beats on the door, people stare at him. He starts jumping up and down and yelling in German. And....the train leaves. I think that Nuremberg does have a “no driver” subway system, but this was a time that a bit of humanity would have been most useful.

We get to Nuremberg, we all run up the stairs, and ...find that we have all missed our trains, probably by something between 2 and 5 minutes (I missed mine by 3). I rebooked on the 10:31 am ICE (since it was an ICE, it should have been more expensive, but they stamped my ticket as valid because I had missed my connection). And then for 45 minutes I watched as person after person, on different platforms, read the little tiny sign that told them that the “zug” was NOT leaving from this platform after all, and that they needed to take the “ersatz” route, on the FREAKIN’ SUBWAY. There was no hint of this engineering abortion anywhere in the station, no employee, no announcement. So people come to their platform, read the sign, jump straight up in the air and say "Ach!" ike cartoon characters, point and chatter to each other, and then run down the stairs to try to run to catch the subway so that they can just miss their northbound train in Furth. I must have seen 20 people do that. Train stations are always jostle-y, but this was mad.

And I also saw at least three old ladies, confused, and in tears, trying to ask people who just shrugged and looked away. I tried to help one of the old ladies, but I couldn’t convince her that she had to take the Ubahn. (It made no sense, I admit, but it happened to be true). So she sat and cried, and waited for twenty minutes. But no train came. There were no trains northbound. They were all piled up in Furth. Finally, DB employee came up onto the platform, and the old lady asked her for help. The DB woman took the elderly woman down the stairs, and I assume that somebody did something.

But, look:
1. The train from Furth to Nuremberg is an eight minute trip, max. The subway is a 25 minute trip, minimum. You can’t run a train that way, ensuring that every passenger misses his or her train. They have to have busses, or something, meet each train, no waiting.
2. Why not make some effort to warn people, heading north? At least, because I was southbound, I had a conductor make an actual announcement, with some details. True, it was in German, but that is my fault for only speaking English. The average German passenger at least knew what to do, and we could all follow each other. The northbounders starting in Nuremberg had no chance of finding out any details of what they were to do, until they got on the platform. And for elderly people or the easily confused, that is just not good enough.
3. When my ICE train did show up, at 10:36 (five minutes late), there were so many people with suitcases trying to get on that there were pushing and shoving matches. I did see one actual fight, and I have never seen that before. It was medieval. And there were exactly zero employees, except for the zen-master conductors who stood placidly to watch. They never help with baggage, not even for old people. And it is because there is a "norm" of no tipping, out of concern for the dignity of the conductors. Gee, I'd hate to insult one of the conductors by getting some help.

I had a number of people, back in the U.S., tell me that I would enjoy the ease of train travel here in Germany. They were, for the most part, people for whose own personal ideologies the fiction of blissful mass transit is important. Folks, you need to open your eyes, or else maybe come back, because things have changed. This system is on the verge of collapse. Certainly, if I had baggage, or children, or was traveling with an elderly parent, I’d rent a car or find some other way of getting around. I can push my way on; in a medieval system, I'm big enough to win. But I don’t want to have to.

Finally, let me note that the food, and fellowship, at the barbq, was really fantastic. A very enjoyable evening, once I got really far away from the DB and much closer to the beer, bread, and brats, and lots of them. A very sincere thanks to H.D.P. Kaufmann and his terrific family. And thanks to Sebastian and "Oma" for the ride home, on the autobahn. My first time.

419 Baiting

This....this....is SO fantastic.

The premise is that we, as citizens, can punish people who are trying to break the social conventions, by scamming THEM. Not hurting them, but humiliating them.

So fantastic. The Dead Parrot sketch from Monte Python, as a punishment.

(Nod to Brad Taylor. And I didn't embed the videos, because I want Brad to get the hits. Nice job, BT)

(UPDATE: Avita writes that we should listen to this podcast, from "This American Life." Avita is right!)