der Dukatenscheisser, and other things

We often comment, here at KPC, about two things:

1. The strangeness that is Deutschland
2. Poop

It turns out that one of the strange things about Germany is the many linguistic uses Germans have for poop.

And if you don't believe, here's the straight poop on it.

Published in 1984 by a distinguished anthropologist named Alan Dundes, Life Is Like a Chicken Coop Ladder set out to describe the German character through the stories that ordinary Germans liked to tell one another. Dundes specialized in folklore, and in German folklore, as he put it, “one finds an inordinate number of texts concerned with anality. Scheisse (shit), Dreck (dirt), Mist (manure), Arsch (ass).… Folksongs, folktales, proverbs, riddles, folk speech—all attest to the Germans’ longstanding special interest in this area of human activity.”

He then proceeded to pile up a shockingly high stack of evidence to support his theory. There’s a popular German folk character called der Dukatenscheisser (“The Money Shitter”), who is commonly depicted crapping coins from his rear end. Europe’s only museum devoted exclusively to toilets was built in Munich. The German word for “shit” performs a vast number of bizarre linguistic duties—for instance, a common German term of endearment was once “my little shit bag.” The first thing Gutenberg sought to publish, after the Bible, was a laxative timetable he called a “Purgation-Calendar.” Then there are the astonishing number of anal German folk sayings: “As the fish lives in water, so does the shit stick to the asshole!,” to select but one of the seemingly endless examples.

That one about the fish is my new favorite saying. Anytime somebody complains about anything in a faculty meeting, they are going to hear that one. Inspired.

Nod to Anonyman; I bet you knew that, without looking. Anonyman has his sh*t together.

Bob Lee Says

Terrific column by my bud Bob Lee.

UNC Boss Holden Thorp is a friend of Bob's, so he's not taking cheap shots. He's just calling the corners.

Here is the hate crime report, on TV.


But it was a hoax. Just totally faked. HuffPo huffed and puffed about the "hate crime," but then when it turned out to be fake HuffPo actually had the gall to say "allegedly faked." You gotta like that: There WAS a hate crime, for sure, but then it was "allegedly faked." Why not "alleged hate crime" in the first place?

So, to review: this was TOTALLY made up, fabricated. And all the haters line up and say, "This fits the pattern. This proves my biases are correct. Only the government can solve this problem."

The truth is that the idea of a hate crime is idiotic. There are crimes. Prosecute them. But don't make stuff up. Or you give reasons to people who want to make stuff up just to get attention.

Assaults do happen. But stuff like this just makes it harder for the actual victims to get justice. And UNC Chancellor Holden Thorp should be ashamed.

Tsunami: Just awful

Remarkable, terrible pictures. Cleverly set up, so you can mouse over and see before/ after. (Thanks to the Blonde for the link).

Given how little warning they had, the government likely did the best that could have been done. That was a huge earthquake.

Amazingly, we now have "Tsunami warnings" here in NC, on the coast. Not really very helpful. "If you see a wall of water moving extremely fast, please try to run, even the land here is perfectly flat for about 15 miles." I guess there is the water receding, and the roar. But still, 5 minutes? There's one bridge off the island.

A bonus: you can buy a plagiarized paper, if you want.

Not a real warning. Just a sign that says that if there IS a tsunami, you need to run away. As this page notes there has been...only one tsunami in the Atlantic. Okay, there have been at least ten, but only one that caused actual damage. And that one was the 1755 Lisbon earthquake tsunami, which was admittedly a real son of a b***h: Voltaire thought of it as a metaphysical event, raising questions about God himself. An excerpt from Voltaire's poem responding to the Lisbon earthquake (and anticipating Pat Robertson being an idiot), straight out of Pangloss's playbook.

What crime, what sin, had those young hearts conceived
That lie, bleeding and torn, on mother’s breast?
Did fallen Lisbon deeper drink of vice
Than London, Paris, or sunlit Madrid?
In these men dance; at Lisbon yawns the abyss.
Tranquil spectators of your brothers’ wreck,
Unmoved by this repellent dance of death,
Who calmly seek the reason of such storms,
Let them but lash your own security;
Your tears will mingle freely with the flood.

Is this anyway to WTF?

It depends. If WTF means "win the future", then no. But if it has its more traditional meaning, then yes!

People, after all the speechifying, name calling, accusations, and general boo-sheet, the Obama administration has again declined to name China a currency manipulator!

Now personally, I don't think having a fixed exchange rate is currency manipulation, nor do I understand what makes us judge and jury on these issues, but my God, these guys really really really give new meaning to the phrase "cheap talk".

Dear Feds: if you are not going to do anything about it, then please just STFU!

Senator Boxer: "I worked SO hard..."

Heh.

Call Me Madam Joe from RightChange on Vimeo.

And, yes, it did really happen.

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My man BobLee has some thoughts about Raleigh's mayor.

What Mayor Meeker said: Members of the Wake County school board "are not from this area and do not share our values..."

(source)

Let me translate that for you: "Y'all Yankees git yer sorry, carpet-baggin' racist asses back on I-85, headed north, and don't even stop to pee 'til you hit South Hill"

The cool thing is that Mayor Meeker.... is... NOT... FROM... NORTH CAROLINA, and went to school in Connecticut. As we native southerners say, "Bless his heart."

As Bob Lee points out, Mayor Meeker's own WIFE is on that very school board that does not share "our" values.

People on the left only believe in democracy as long as the majority agrees with them. As soon as the majority shows a mind of its own, it's time to bring out the guns.

Undercover Operation: Strippers Take Clothes Off!

The LMM and I are at Wrightsville Beach, for the week.

One of the pleasures of being here is reading the local newspaper.

Here is a truly wonderful story: After a six-month (!!) undercover sting operation, the men of Charlottes's finest have concluded that strippers take. their. clothes. off.

Thank goodness we have a police force, to protect us from dangerous naked women. I think Mr. Fall has it right, below:

Chris Fall, owner of the Paper Doll Lounge on Wilkinson Boulevard, said the women from his club denied that they removed all of their clothing.

Fall is upset about the charges, saying the investigation is a waste of taxpayer money, particularly in tight financial times.

"The government, they're bad on money and they're coming after us," Fall said. "Paying (agents) to go to strip clubs... and have a good time."

He said the arrests have hurt his business: "Why run all the business off? You're supposed to be helping businesses, not hurting businesses."

The clubs could face disciplinary action by the state ABC commission, which controls licensing for businesses that sell alcohol.

So the cops told some undercover guys to spend six months going to strip clubs, buying drinks and tucking $20s into g-strings (you have to fit in, if you are undercover). And the result is that six young women are going to go to jail, for the crime of sharing.

Yes, I understand the police don't write the laws, and they have to enforce all the laws. But surely there are other priorities in Charlotte....

You have to enforce the law

Even if you agree with the protesters, you have to enforce the law.

This is a bit scary...

(Nod and thanks to Wayne Rogers, for the tip)

Idiot Conservatives on Parade

The last two weeks has brought an avalanche, a deluge, a... well, a lot, of embarrassment for conservatives in terms of public relations. IF they were capable of embarrassment, or self-reflection, or introspection.

One bozo stole large sections of BHO's 2004 convention speech.

Another "family values" candidate, who values families so much that he has TWO of them, was selected by the GOP to run for the House.

The biggest idiot of all, IMHO, a pretty extreme family values guy, who actually hired his long-time mistress to (I'm not making this up) help film a video about the importance of family values. Don't want her to feel left out, right?

Earlier in the month, this fool was caught with a "RentBoy." Now, it's certainly all right with me if somebody wants to pay for sex. And it's true that the RentBoy looks quite hot. But you can't persecute gays with a Torquemada-like fervor, and THEN get caught with "Lucien". As Jon Stewart pointed out, RentBoy didn't even help with the luggage! It's hard to shock the Miami papers, but...

Jon Stewart does some fine television. Rekers story just after 7:30...

Anyway, the most important "family value" ought to be to respect other peoples' choices about their family, and to stop trying to RUN EVERYONE ELSE'S LIVES.

You right wing family values people: shut up, if you can't even keep your OWN families according to your own (admittedly puritanical) standards.

(Nod to Anonyman, who amazingly sent me every one of the above stories)

UPDATE: Another snippet (again from Anonyman) on the GOP right here in NC. The GOP is actually trying to repudiate this candidate, even if it means they lose the seat. Here is the guy's web site....Here's a picture, from Salon. It may have been photoshopped, but I think he may be looking at us... or not.

Try to Pay Attention....Libertarians are NOT Individualists

Got this asinine cartoon from my man KL....
How confused can you possibly be?

1. Libertarians believe that individual CHOICES, not disjointed individual ACTIONS, are the center of the good society. I have a 2006 BMW 330i. Not a clue how it works, the engine is a complex mystery to me. So, do I do all the work myself? I do not, none of it in fact. I pay an expert to do the service work for me. My choice to purchase a BMW was based in part on the excellent service record of the 330 series. I had a lot of choices, and I chose the BMW. Maybe a good choice, maybe not. But I do NOT believe in the need for, or even the desirability of, total independence and self-sufficiency. Markets always create complex mutual interdependencies that greatly increase specialization and improve welfare.

2. If the government stopped providing coercively "supplied" fire services, what would happen? Would there be zero fire protection? No, volunteer fire departments would take up part of the slack. In fact, volunteer fire departments are a perfect example of voluntary private organizations that would carry most of the water in a libertarian society. We don't necessarily need for-profit firms to do the work, though in larger cities that would probably make sense. This fallacy, that if the government stopped providing the service there would be no new institution to solve the problem, is obvious nonsense. Yet it is essentially the only argument that the anti-libertarian ning-nongs and lefty figjams have in their pathetic little arsenals. It doesn't matter how many times the canard is refuted, you still hear it.

Double Down, KFC Style!

Double Down! Even *I* think this is disgusting. It's a "sandwich" where the buns are replaced by two fried chicken breasts. The filling is two big dollops of cheese product (one with yellow dye, and one left white), and some bacon.

An amusing review, when the thing was being test-marketed. (And source of photo above)

To be fair, though, this review made me think. After all:

...as far as caloric intake goes, the Double Down isn't even half as bad as most fast-food burgers.The original-recipe fried Double Down with two strips of fried chicken breast clocks in at 540 calories and 32g of fat. The grilled Double Down has 460 calories and 23g of fat. Both have an outrageous amount of sodium, however, 1,380mg and 1,430 mg, respectively.

1.4 GRAMS of sodium? That's impressive. The recommended daily limit for sodium (for a person, for an entire DAY) is 2.3 grams. Hypertensive people should have half that. Less than one Double Death.

Let's compare a burger, though, just for fun. Let's go all the way, to Hardee's Monster 2/3 pound Thickburger.

Calories: 1320
Fat: 95 grams, for 860 calories
Sodium: 3020 mg
Carbs: 46 grams

By comparison, the Double Down is girl food!

Consensus, or Census-Con?

Remarkable. You can't make this stuff up....

A Georgia man accused of killing two people used an innovative legal strategy Monday in an attempt to get his murder charges dismissed. Call it the Census defense.

Floyd Wayne Williams Jr. wants the charges dropped — or at least his trial delayed — until the 2010 Census is done so that a jury more accurately reflecting the county's racial makeup can be chosen. Williams, who is black, is to be tried in the south Atlanta's Clayton County, which has seen a surge in African-American residents since the 2000 Census.

Jury pools in Clayton County, like many other jurisdictions, are drawn from voter registration lists, driver's license data and utility records. The list is then balanced by race and gender from the Census to reflect a cross-section of the population.

(nod to the LMM)

Virginia is NOT for Lovers

Virginia is only for STRAIGHT lovers, it appears.

(Nod to Ed Cone As Ed notes, "Old times there are not forgotten." Old times like Leviticus....Leviticus 18:6 reads: "You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination." A similar verse occurs two chapters later, in Leviticus 20:13: "A man who sleeps with another man is an abomination and should be executed." Of course there is also DEUTERONOMY 22:13-21--"If it is discovered that a bride is not a virgin, then she must be executed by stoning immediately." I think perhaps we SHOULD forget old times.)

The End of Rickrolling?

At first, it appeared that Rickrolling was going to be harder.

But, as the update at bottom points out:

UPDATE: Rejoice! Google says that the Rickroll was flagged mistakenly: "With 20 hours of video uploaded every minute to YouTube, we count on our community members to know our Community Guidelines and to flag content they believe violates them," a statement from the company read. "We review all flagged content quickly, and if we find that a video does violate the guidelines, we remove it, on average in under an hour. We also have a team that is dedicated to identifying and removing spam from YouTube. Occasionally, a video flagged by users or identified by our spam team is mistakenly taken down. When this is brought to our attention, we review the content and take appropriate action, including restoring video or videos that had been removed."

That's pretty plausible. With all the annoyances of the Rickroll prank, I bet more than a few people flag it as spam every day.

So, if you have never been Rickrolled....here. Turn it up.

And if you want to Rickroll Like Teen Spirit.....it's your lucky day.

(Nod to Angry Alex, who probably is angry because he got Rickrolled once too often. A man can only take so much....)

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Fat, Populist, and Stupid is No Way to Go Through Politics, Son

For some blue-state conservatives who honed their political skills by continuously debating liberal peers, mingling with attendees presented unique challenges. Jesse Eiseman and Tyler Trumbach, who came from Columbia University to attend the conference, interrupted a spirited debate over the fall of the Roman Empire to complain to The Daily Beast about the anti-intellectual bent of fellow conservatives at CPAC. 'They have an opinion, but they don't give evidence to back it up, they don't use logic,' Trumbach said. Eiseman added, 'In a lot of ways I feel closer to left-wing intellectuals...I love the populists, I agree with them on many things, but I am scared of what happens when people stop thinking.' The two quickly took to hiding their name badges showing their college in order to avoid ridicule after speakers trashed academic elites onstage. 'There are a lot of anti-Ivy Leaguers around,' Eiseman said....For all the differences between them, however, most attendees said they felt little tension with their fellow conservatives on a personal level.

“We respect each other's viewpoints,” Travis Korson, a George Washington University student, said. “You just don't talk about things you disagree [about].”
[Benjamin Sarlin, The Daily Beast]

If having been to college is embarrassing, the "movement" has a problem. (Nod to Kevin L)

GuhDAY! Russians Hack Up Aborigines from Oz

So, here's the story:

Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin, the favorites for ice-dancing gold in Vancouver, wowed the crowds with their routine at the European Championships. They sit in the lead after their original dance, a tribute to Australian Aborigines.

Except, Aboriginal leaders don't see it as a tribute. They don't really see how it has anything to do with their culture at all.

"They have got the whole thing wrong," said Stephen Page, artistic director of the respected indigenous group, the Bangarra Dance Company. Page said there were no traditional movements in the routine, the music sounded more like it came from India or Africa than Aboriginal Australia and the body paint looked like "a three-year-old child had drawn it on"... "Probably the elders in the bush would be laughing because they would be saying, 'Look how stupid these fellas are,' " he said.
ATSRTWT


Okay, I think that last sentence is probably right. But that would also be the reaction of the elders in the bush to all of the OTHER ice dancing costumes also. It is certainly MY reaction.

And here's the thing. It is ICE dancing. The idea of authentic Aussie aboroginal ice dancing is a little hard to imagine. The only ice in all of Oz is at the MacDonalds, and they won't give you any. These pictures here? Don't believe it. They are photo-shopped.

(Nod to Anonyman, who would look good in those costumes)

A quiz on economics

It's a short quiz.

Do you think that cruise ships should continue to dock at Haiti's Labadee peninsula, so that passengers can "frolic" and "buy trinkets"?

To me, the answer is obviously "yes," if the passengers don't mind. It's possible passengers don't WANT to go, but if that is what is advertised, and passengers buy a ticket, I say "go."

Because the alternative is to say, "Haiti is devestated. Let's boycott Haiti, to make sure the economic damage is as great as possible. Let's deny local workers the only chance they have to make some money, so as to make our rich white American selves feel moral."

But I expect that most people disagree with me. Right?

(Nod to Anonyman)

Good Thing I'm Already Married!

'Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.'

No to fatties!

(Nod to Anonyman, who could stand to lose 5 pounds)

Rush Can't Play Tom Sawyer?

Art Carden makes a nice comparison, I think.

(This is Rush the band, not the radio personality, btw)

App State is HOT HOT HOT

Would this make you MORE likely to apply? I don't think so....