Tuesday, March 23, 2010

India strikes again

People, you know I love India. It is, in my opinion, the funniest country in the world. (Here are some more gems)

Now they are claiming to be "militarizing" chili peppers!

The Indian military has a new weapon against terrorism: the world's hottest chili. After conducting tests, the military has decided to use the thumb-sized "bhut jolokia," or "ghost chili," to make tear gas-like hand grenades to immobilize suspects, defense officials said Tuesday.

The bhut jolokia was accepted by Guinness World Records in 2007 as the world's spiciest chili. It is grown and eaten in India's northeast for its taste, as a cure for stomach troubles and a way to fight the crippling summer heat. It has more than 1,000,000 Scoville units, the scientific measurement of a chili's spiciness. Classic Tabasco sauce ranges from 2,500 to 5,000 Scoville units, while jalapeno peppers measure anywhere from 2,500 to 8,000.

"The chili grenade has been found fit for use after trials in Indian defense laboratories, a fact confirmed by scientists at the Defense Research and Development Organization," Col. R. Kalia, a defense spokesman in the northeastern state of Assam, told The Associated Press.

"This is definitely going to be an effective nontoxic weapon because its pungent smell can choke terrorists and force them out of their hide-outs," R. B. Srivastava, the director of the Life Sciences Department at the New Delhi headquarters of the DRDO said.

Srivastava, who led a defense research laboratory in Assam, said trials are also on to produce bhut jolokia-based aerosol sprays to be used by women against attackers and for the police to control and disperse mobs.

There is so much good stuff here that I hardly know where to start. Let's toss a few out randomly.

1. How 'bout the name of that pepper?

2. Umm, guys, you do know that pepper spray has been around for decades already, right?

3. How can something both be a food and so smelly that it will force hardened terrorists out of hiding due to its smell?

4. Will Indonesia now make a Durian Bomb?

5. Will India ban exports of this pepper due to national security?



Anonymous said...

Durian bomb. Now that's funny. Or maybe a corpse flower bomb. The writers of Airplane!, an escalation scenario between India and Indonesia, and you've got yourself a funny movie.

Kunal said...

I'm not sure what is so funny, Dr. A. This is just pepper spray for people with non-wimpy levels of spice-tolerance.

Angus said...

LOL, so you think they would just squirt US pepper spray on their dinners for a condiment?

John Covil said...

1. Forget hogleg, blunt jolokia is a much better euphemism.
3. Shawn: "Dude I can't see anything out of my left eye"
Gus: "I see dead people"
Shawn: "Even the water's spicy"
Gus: "Who does that"

FifthBeatle said...

To answer Question #3, it's not going to harm terrorists because it's "smelly". It's going to immobilize them because of its pungent smell. (To me "smelly" just means that it smells bad!). And how it can be used as a food? Well, it's obviously used in much lesser quantities when eaten!

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