Put your mind at ease, Judge Scalia

Last week, I posted about how Antonin Scalia had gone all Alan Ginsberg on us by lamenting how our "best minds" were being wasted on lawyering. I am not so sure he was right. Consider the following exchanges, all of which supposedly actually occurred in a courtroom:

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

---

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

---

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at the time?

---

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?

Q: None.

A: Were there any girls?

---

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

---

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

---

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

---

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.