Saturday, October 31, 2009

The Week in PRE-view

The Week in PRE-view

Forget those wimps who talk about the week that WAS. Given our nearly divine prescience here at KPC, we can review the week in advance. Here's what to watch for:

1. The election in New Jersey: Chris Christie loses, in a close race, to the most corrupt incumbent governor in the U.S., Jon Corzine. And the reason that Christie will lose is widespread vote fraud. As the Democrats all know, "In counting, there is strength."

2. The election in Virginia: McDonnell beats Deeds. As Rasmussen puts it, Republican Robert F. McDonnell opened a 13-point lead over Democrat R. Creigh Deeds this week – in a survey taken the evening after the president made a campaign appearance for Deeds in the state. I assume that AFTER the visit by BHO, Deeds spoke even louder, and led by 15%.

3. The announcement by President "Fullness of Time" Obama, who is cravenly waiting until Wednesday to announce that he is, in fact, going to send 20,000 troops to Afghanistan. These troops will be fewer than needed, if you believe we can win. And they will be far more than we should send if you believe (as I do) we can't win. And he is waiting until Wednesday to announce so that he can avoid making the left mad for sending so MANY troops, and the right mad for sending so FEW. And waiting until after the elections (#1 and #2, above) to make the announcement is pretty transparent. Sure, the Repubs would do it, also, but....)

4. Nancy Pelosi kills and eats Jim Matheson (D-Utah), a "blue dog" Democrat who was waffling on voting "yes" in the secret "caucus of death" meetings held by party leaders. Says Pelosi, "The important thing is that we get a health care bill passed. If we have to lose 20 seats to do it, it will still be worth it. And besides, moderates make for excellent sashimi plates." Interestingly, it turns out that after eating a moderate, Pelosi's testosterone level was very high, according to Duke University researchers.

You'll thank me. And remember, you heard it first on KPC, your source for fabricated news stories.


Anonymous said...

You must be implying that Nancy Pelosi is a man (or at least is manly), because the article says that women did not experience a testosterone drop.

Not that I disagree; I'm just pointing it out.

Tom said...

Mungowitz: 20K troops "will be far more than we should send if you believe (as I do) we can't win..."

What do you mean by "win" Mungowitz? The only time Congress spoke on the issue, they wanted "to prevent any future acts of international terrorism against the United States." That necessarily takes forever, so it can't really be counted as a victory condition. As near as I can find, Dubyah said victory consisted of "awer uiol trsas drhgn surgseru druth." And since taking office, Obama has claimed victory meant "".

Don't give up! My favorite news source* has parsed official statements and discovered the real War Aims. Lucky for us, this is a goal we can reach. Victory is near.

*other than KPC, of course