Sunday, February 14, 2010

A Valentine Quiz

A short (one question) Valentine's quiz on level of marital understanding for men. Your wife comes downstairs in the morning, pours the tea (which, thank God, you made for her), and stares over the cup at you with a look of pure hate.

Your internal warning bells go off. Still, it will be worse if you don't ask. "Good morning dear, is everything okay?"

Still staring through slitted eyes, she spits out the words, "I had a dream. You were 'The Bachelor,' and you wanted to be with me AND another woman, two of us."

So, do you:

A. Say, "Dear, that could never happen! I'm not a bachelor; they wouldn't let me on the show. Otherwise, though, that sounds good! Maybe we can call someone?"
B. Raise your eyebrows, nod your head slowly, and stare out the window, in deep contemplation.
C. Say, "C'mon, it was only a dream. You know you are the only one for me!"
D. Pretend to have a gran mal seizure and flop on the floor in a coma, doing your best to swallow your tongue.

Now, it is obvious that A is the wrong choice. But now I have direct empirical evidence that B is also a pretty bad choice. In fact, choosing B causes lots of small-fist-sized bruises to appear on your upper arm. So, if this happens to you, go with C and hold D in reserve in case it doesn't work.


Anonymous said...

If I may add an option:
C'. Say, "C'mon, it was only a dream, but I'm sorry for anything I may have done or said in your dream. You know you are the only one for me!"
It's the apology that matters here. I speak from experience.

Anonymous said...

E. Say, "I wish my dreams were more like as yours."

Thus, pointing out 1) that it was only a dream, 2) honestly admit that the prospect is interesting, and 3) it was she, not you, that had the "offending" dream.

Doc Merlin said...

She isn't being rational and no matter what you say you will lose.

You should laugh and give her a kiss on the forehead. Don't play her game, be above that.