Earlier, I argued that coffee, a muffin, and the NYT spelled failure in academics.
But it turns out I was wrong. The problem is: Beer.
(Nod to Bayou Jack, who asks: "Mungowitz, does this mean you plagiarized all your papers and books? 'Cause, looking at that gut, you have been DOIN' some beer." Thanks, Jack. I meant what I said about your mom.)