Some stories that are not the Onion...probably.
1. Guys take flattened, dried alligator for joy ride.
2. Duck tape used to save...ducks! And, yes, I mean "duck tape."
3. Food trucks, food trucks, what ya gonna do? What ya gonna do when the mayor comes for you? Make a ...Facebook page! And then "unlike" Mayor Bloomberg.
4. Having medical insurance increases the amount of health services people consume. Tomorrow: sun rises in the east.
5. Rod Stewart is mistaken for author's elderly aunt.
6. Michigan Congressman had no idea that law outlawing light bulbs would put "Washington in charge of decisions over light bulbs."
(Nod to the Blonde, Angry Alex, and The Chelsea)