I had a big day, on the pompous ass prof. front. A play, in two acts.
ACT I: Young female grad student comes into the Perk (coffee shop), announces she has had the hiccups for 90 minutes and can't shake them. I am sitting with a group of five or six other poli sci grad students.
Me: "Have you heard about the new political theory requirement? Every political science grad student has to take a course on the philosophy of Immanuel Kant."
Hiccup Student: "WAH! WHAAAAAAAH!?"
Me: "Just kidding. But it cured your hiccups, right?"
Student: "....omigod....that was terrifying. But yes, it did! My hiccups are gone. Thanks!"
ACT II: I am lecturing in the course John Aldrich and I are co-teaching. Student in front row (in FRONT ROW!) is holding up newspaper in front of his face. People behind him crane around to try to see. This is not the first five minutes of class. THis is 45 minutes in. The kid just got bored.
Me: "You know, I have to give credit where it is due. Most people, if they are going to disrespect the prof, and read the paper, would do it in the back. I guess I should be impressed, though: This gentleman cares so little what I think that he opens the paper up right here in front. Let's give him a hand, folks!"
(The class gives an enthusiastic hand for this show of juevos. But juevos boy himself turns a deep purple - red, for about 30 seconds).