So,
Tiger Woods has been hurt, moderately badly, after hitting a fire hydrant after pulling out of his driveway in ....Windermere, FL!
I did not know that he had a home in Windermere. Or, as John Jarosz always called it, "Windermar, home of the Wombats."
Anyway, I'm sorry that this happened.
But ....Windermere? My home town, basically. (I grew up in nearby Gotha, home of the mighty Gophers).
Some interesting things (interesting to me, anyway).
1. Tiger lives in Isleworth. Now, Isleworth is a very nice place, one of the most exclusive areas in central FLA. But when I was growing up, Isleworth was literally a ghetto, a walled enclosure where the black people, or "pickers" (they picked oranges) lived. It was VERY poor, and the segregated school system was horrible for African-Americans. Amazing that a black man, one of the richest in all of U.S. sports, lives in Isleworth. I cringe when I hear that.
2. He hit a fire hydrant. In fact, the story says, "Woods, had pulled out of his driveway in a Cadillac SUV....As he began to drive .... (Woods) struck a fire hydrant," FHP reported. The front of Wood's vehicle "then struck a tree" located at a neighboring property." Now, in a nice place like Isleworth, they don't put the fire hydrant in the middle of the street. They don't even do that in Gotha, fercrissakes. So, I'm guessing that texting was involved, here.
3. Apparently, they took the injured Tiger to....
Health Central Hospital in Ocoee. Really? My high school chum, and wedding groomsman, Dr. John C. Cappleman, is an internal med specialist, and longtime surgeon, at Health Central. I wonder if he will see Tiger?
Anyway, I do hope that Tiger is okay, and that the facial lacerations are not deep, or in his eyes. But...Isleworth? Really? We used to ride bikes there, but the little black kids would throw rocks at us, and in retrospect I don't blame them.
UPDATE: I have seen, in two places now, that "charges are pending." Texting, for sure. Ugh.
UPDATE II (Friday 10 pm): Yes, "texting" is a eupemism for being drunk. Apparently
Tiger's wife used a golf club to break him out of the car. Still, isn't it strange that he pulled out of his driveway, and smashed his car after driving 100 yards? Domestic dispute? No, I don't know why I am so interested that I am just making stuff up.
UPDATE III (Saturday 8 am): The LMM's take:
(a) She should have left him in the car. Elin apparently broke in through the back and dragged Tiger out. Neck/spinal injuries, even minor ones, mean that dragging Tiger out all the way from front to back...nuts. (b) Sounds a lot like Elin and Tiger had a fight. She reminds him of something. He gets mad. She gets madder. He says something that crosses a line. She gets REALLY mad. He slams door, gets in car, squeals out of driveway to show how mad he is, and loses control and smashes into fire hydrant/tree. This does sound plausible, since otherwise it is hard to see how he could be going fast enough to hurt himself. On the other hand, it appears that he wasn' going very fast, because the airbag did NOT deply. Then why did he get hurt? Did she hit him with the golf club? Interesting. I had not thought of that.
UPDATE IV (Saturday 6 pm):
The LMM, and Angus, both guessed this. I did NOT expect this. Wow.